Hatred Is Blind
by A Secret Drarry Lover
Summary: Harry Potter and his friends return to Hogwarts after the war to complete their education. Harry notices that Draco Malfoy is quite not himself. Harry's attempts to find out what happened to Draco after the war eventually lead him to falling in love with the Slytherin boy. WARNING: CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT!
1. Chapter 1

**Fanfiction name: **Hatred Is Blind

**Author: **A Secret Drarry Lover

**Length: **32,748 words excluding the Author's notes.

**Main Pairing:** Drarry (Draco/Harry)

**Side Pairings:- **

-Romione (Ron/Hermione)

-Hinny (Harry/Ginny), formerly

-Ginny/Dean

**World:** Post-war Hogwarts.

**Rating: **M

**Summary: **Harry Potter and his friends return to Hogwarts after the war to complete their education. Harry notices that Draco Malfoy is quite not himself. Harry's attempts to find out what happened to Draco after the war eventually lead him to falling in love with the Slytherin boy.

**Warnings: **CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT! Detailed sex scenes. Mentions of suicide and cutting.

**Disclaimer: **If I own Harry Potter or any of its characters, I wouldn't be spending most of my day in the bed writing a slash fanfiction. I WOULD ORDER WARNER BROS. TO MAKE A MOVIE BASED ON IT!

**Dedication:** This fanfiction is dedicated to my lovely friend and my "fandom soul mate", Sanaa, who is also my beta.

* * *

**HATRED IS BLIND**

Chapter 1: Malfoy owes me two

May 2, 1998 – Right after the great victory, at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

I ran hard, shouting his name loudly so he can hear me. I wanted to give him something before he leaves and this was my last chance because I don't even know if I will ever see him again. Maybe this will be the last time. He turned around and looked at me with an expressionless face. His parents at his side stopped too, but looked so unpleased doing that.  
"Potter…" said Malfoy. "What do you want?"

I sighed. This isn't going to be like I hoped. I was hoping for a_ 'Thank you for saving me and my friend from burning to death' or 'thanks for ridding the world of that madman'_ or anything like this, but apparently I wasn't going to get any of that.

"I just wanted to give you this." I gave him my wand –_ his_ wand, the one I used these past months. "Thank you," I said without thinking. Shit!_ I_ ended up thanking him, not the opposite.

"Why are you giving it to me now? I asked for it earlier and you didn't give it to me. Why now? Or now that you have the Elder Wand, you won't need this anymo_"

"Fuck you, Malfoy!" I threw the wand at him and left. Why did I ever think of returning it to that prat?_ Fucking Malfoy…_

I returned back to the castle cursing Malfoy and thankful that I won't be seeing him again. _Good riddance…_

But I was quite wrong. I did see him again.

* * *

Saturday, September 5, 1998 – Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

I never thought that we would return back to Hogwarts after the war, but Hermione insisted that she has to attend her skipped year, and Ron and I thought we would attend with her, too.

This year, Hogwarts was much less crowded than any other year. Not many students have returned after the war, either because they were killed in the war, or they were related to Death Eaters and were afraid or ashamed to show their faces to the public. Some even gave up on their education. Surprisingly, Draco Malfoy wasn't among any of these. He, for some reason, wanted to continue his education. While we skipped our year fighting Death Eaters and hunting Horcruxes, he skipped it fighting Aurors and torturing Ollivander.

Our first week passed quickly. Thankfully, we didn't have any homework to do and had the whole weekend free. So I thought it would be nice if I played a one on one game of Quidditch with Ron, just the two of us. I thought a competitively distracting game might help him out of his depression ever since the death of his brother. He always looked sad whenever he thought no one was looking and acted normal when he wasn't alone, but he can't fool me. I knew he was very sad because I'm empathetic to his current situation. In fact, I am exactly like him right now. I still have not recovered from Remus's death.

After two hours of flying, Ron looked better, but I know he'll soon return to his usual depressed state. Still, I have to help my friend recover as he helped me recover when Sirius died.

"I fucking love flying," said Ron. "Thanks, Harry, for suggesting this."

"Anytime, mate."

He yawned. "I feel so tired. I am going to bed. Coming too?"  
"No," I said. "You go. And take my broom with you, if you would."

I didn't feel like sleeping now, so I went for a walk. Thankfully, I had my Invisibility Cloak with me. I wore it, as I was in no mood to be caught wandering in the corridors after curfew. I didn't know where I was going exactly, but I just kept walking until I found myself in the Astronomy Tower, at the same exact place where I witnessed Dumbledore's death. It felt like ages ago.  
I heard someone coming, and I panicked forgetting for a moment that I can't be seen. It was dark, and I couldn't tell who it was, but then his features started to appear as he stepped under the moonlight. It was Malfoy.

Malfoy looked strange. He didn't have that smirk he always wore on his pointy face. In fact, he looked… scared? No, upset was the right word and I became sure of that when Malfoy started sobbing. He was really crying, and it was the bathroom encounter (as I called it) all over again. But this time, I didn't reveal myself and start cursing at him or anything. I just watched him cry, and he cried harder and harder as the seconds passed. I wondered what made him _that_ upset. The Malfoy I know wouldn't let his emotions affect him at all. It must have been something very bad. Suddenly, he stopped, and I thought he noticed my presence and will start firing hexes at me, but I was wrong. He headed back to the door. But instead of leaving, he took a sprint and _jumped_ over the battlement and fell down towards the ground.

I was so horrified, too shocked to scream, but I wasn't idle. I took my wand quickly and shouted _"Aresto Momentum"_ within seconds of his fall. I prayed for it to work on him from that height, but apparently I wasn't quick enough. His body decelerated, but that didn't stop it from hitting the ground quiet hard.

I paced quickly down seven flights of stairs and found him in a frightful state. His head was covered with blood and he was so still. I began to panic. Panting, I slowly shook him, praying for a response from the unconscious boy. I put two fingers on his wrist and thankfully found a pulse. He isn't dead… yet.

"Malfoy, you idiot… what have you done?" I was wasting time. Malfoy has to be taken to the Hospital Wing, which was on the other side of the castle. He'll be dead before I can get him there. "Think, Harry, think…" I told myself. There must be a way I can take him there quickly. And then it hit me…  
_"Accio Firebolt,"_ I raised my wand towards Gryffindor Tower, presuming that Ron has taken my broom to the dorm as I asked _and_ left the dorm's window open as he usually does. Fortunately, he did and within seconds, my broom came zooming toward me. I caught it, wasted precious seconds struggling to carry and adjust Malfoy's weight on it, and flew to the Hospital Wing.

Madam Pomfrey was quite shocked when she saw me entering through the window carrying an injured wizard on my broom, but I got her to work quickly. "Quick," I said. "It's his head. He…" I tried to revise a story as to what had happened to him, I found myself speechless. "He, um_"

"Mr. Potter, honestly, I couldn't care less about how he got injured. All I care about is that he is injured. I just have to fix him. Now let me do my job."

I was so thankful for that, and was thankful more that the matron was awake at this hour; otherwise Malfoy would have been dead by the time I woke her up and explained what had happened. I stood there watching Madam Pomfrey casting spells and pouring potions on Malfoy's wounds. After minutes, the matron covered Malfoy with a blanket and closed the curtains around his bed. She turned to me and I could tell she was surprised to see me still standing there. I myself was surprised that I didn't leave. "Will he be alright?" I found myself asking, not knowing exactly why I cared anyway.

"Yes. He will recover by tomorrow morning. His skull was fractured, but I took care of that. Now, I know I told you that I don't care what happened to him, but now I do. His wounds weren't magical injuries. His fractured skull means that he was either hit by something hard or he fell from a high elevation. Was that what happened?"

I didn't know what I should say.

I remembered when Hermione had cat fur all over her body and Madam Pomfrey didn't get her in trouble or tell the teachers that she used illegal potions, so I suppose there will be no trouble if I told her the truth about Malfoy, too. And even if he got in trouble, that's his problem, not mine. No one told him to jump. He should be so grateful that I saved him, for the second time in his life. "Yes," I answered.

"'Yes' to which question?"

"He fell."

"Did you push him or something? Or did he fall by accident? Can you tell me exactly what happened ?"

Why does she want to know? She never really cared about anything. She always fixed people with her mouth shut.

She looked like she knew the answer without me saying it. "Mr. Potter, you do realize how serious this is? As far as I understand, Mr. Malfoy has jumped off one of the towers, and did it intentionally. He was attempting to commit suicide. Tell me if I am wrong."

"No, you're right."

"Do you know why he did this?"

"No. We are not friends and I don't know if he has a specific reason for doing that. I just happened to be near him when he jumped and I managed to cast a quick Cushioning Charm, but I wasn't quick enough."

"If you could talk to his friends, tell them that Mr. Malfoy may want some extra... _attention_. Let them be aware that he's having some troubles."

Only now did I remember that Malfoy has no friends. Vincent died in the war. Gregory is in Azkaban, as well as his whole family. Pansy, Theodore and Blaise were from the many Slytherins who didn't return to Hogwarts. They believed that it is better to be uneducated rather than return to school and get bad looks from all those who accused them of being the reason of the war and its causalities. And only now did I remember that Lucius was in jail too, and Narcissa and Draco barely escaped imprisonment. Draco Malfoy must be having a hell of a life, I thought. Although I don't agree with it, now I can see why he wanted to kill himself. His dignity made him believe that he'd better die than live with guilt for what his father did and for what he was forced to do. For a moment, I felt pity for him, but then I remembered that it is Draco Malfoy I'm talking about, the Slytherin bastard, the evil bully who made my life like hell.

"He doesn't have friends," I finally said.

After moments of silence, she nodded and said, "Alright, Mr. Potter, I'll talk to the head of his house and his parents about his problems. You may go now."

I took my broom and returned to the Astronomy Tower to get the Cloak, which I left there in the middle of the events, and then back to my dormitory. When I laid down on my bed, I thought of what happened to Malfoy, not just since the war, but the events which took place far earlier than that. Since he became a Death Eater, Malfoy isn't the same bastard he was when he was young. He changed once he fulfilled his dream of following his father's tracks and found that he was wrong and being a Death Eater is horrible rather than wonderful as he always believed. It was already too late, and he aware of that. He had learned his lesson the hard way. He'll always be seen by people as a marked Death Eater. Regardless of what good he does in his future, there will always be those who will only see him as a former servant of the darkest wizard of all time. I went to sleep with a strong feeling of pity towards Malfoy.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: We're definitely not friends… yet.

I quickly searched for the Marauder's Map in the mess of my trunk once I was fully awake. _"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,"_ I pointed my wand on the parchment once I found it. A quick glance at the Infirmary told me that the Slytherin boy had already left earlier. I was worried that he'd try to kill himself again once he recovers, but I saw the ink dot labeling Malfoy's name in the Great Hall, away and safe from any towers or roofs. Still, he could kill himself with another way.

"Morning, Harry," said Ron and yawned sleepily. "What time is it?"

"Eight thirty. Come on, we'll be late for breakfast."

I got dressed and went downstairs with Ron to the Great Hall. I glanced at the Slytherin table and found Malfoy sitting alone and away from his house mates, looking bored and resting his chin on his hand. He, Dephane and Astoria Greengrass were the only Slytherin seventh years at Hogwarts. On the other side of the Hall, Hermione was sitting alone in the Gryffindor table hiding her face behind a book. Her plate was empty,I presume she has already finished her breakfast.

"Good morning, Hermione," I said, cheerfully. "What are you studying? It's the weekend and we have absolutely no homework!"

"Just revising some Transfiguration rules... And why are you so late? I've been sitting here on my own for hours."

"Sorry about that." For some reason, I didn't tell my friends about what happened last night. I thought it won't do any good making them pity Malfoy, as I currently do. I hate when people pity me, and yet I can't help but feel sympathetic for him. The boy looked thinner, if that was even possible, and he looked really depressed. I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would see him in this state. Even in the mid of all the events during our sixth year, he looked more cheerful than that.

"About time," said Ron, and it took me a long time to realize what he meant: the owls came with letters and packages from families. I felt pain in my gut when I realized I will never get a family letter again after Remus died. _And so returns my post-war depression..._

Pigwidgeon landed in front of Ron and raised its small leg. Ron untied the letter and the owl flew away, happy that it accomplished its mission. The letter was from Mrs. Weasley giving us the latest news about the 'new Ministry'. Ron read the letter aloud, which was all about some new Ministry laws and more Death Eaters being captured and some things like that. I wasn't concentrating on what Ron said, until he mentioned the word Malfoy: "Dad says the ministry seized all the Malfoy assets to make reparation. Malfoy and his mother must have dropped from their _high_ class completely. I think that is more than fair! They deserve it, those filthy, masked, arm-scarred, Voldemort's ass-kissers…"

So that's why Malfoy wanted to kill himself last night! He must have heard the news yesterday from his mother. He must have felt sad about her and himself. I wondered if the Ministry had taken the Manor too. If yes, then where is Narcissa living right now? Under different circumstances, I would have felt happy for this news, but after knowing how hard it had struck the family, I felt nothing but pity towards them.

"And Umbridge is arrested?" Ron laughed. "Isn't that great? Kingsley is doing a great job as the Minister! What do you think, Harry? Harry, are you alright?" Ron snapped.

"Uh? Oh, yes… I'm fine. Great news!" I said.

"You look like you aren't with us, mate."

Malfoy was leaving the Hall now. I had to follow him… Part of my mind asked _'Why?'_ Another part answered _'just to be perfectly sure he won't try killing himself again.'_

"I'm full," I said, pushing away my unfinished plate, and followed Malfoy out.

"Malfoy!" I shouted at him before he goes to the Dungeons. I didn't know what I was going to say to him, but I just wanted to… I didn't even know what I wanted!

"Potter?" Malfoy's voice was hoarse as if this was the first time he talked since a week.

"How… Uh, how are you?"

Malfoy looked at me as if he wasn't sure it was actually me who is talking to him. "Fine."

"Um… I just wanted to say hello."

Without replying, without showing an expression of what he was thinking, he turned around and left me. _The fucking brat…_

My second attempt to have a conversation with the git was on the next day, in Potions class, and it wasn't any better. Slughorn paired me with Malfoy, like he always does, and we had to brew a very complicated healing potion. The problem was that I am pants in potion, now that I don't have the Prince's book.

"We are supposed to stir how many times, exactly?" I asked Malfoy.

He glared at me as if telling me _'How dare you talk to me?'_ then resumed chopping the ginger roots.

"Hey! Are you deaf? Answer me!"

"No, I am not deaf,_ Potter!_ The instructions are written in front of you on the board. So _you_ are either blind or stupid. I will go for both."

"Why are you such a brat? Can't you say anything nicely?"

Malfoy didn't answer, which made me angrier. I regretted saving him from the fire and from his suicide attempt. I wish he could die now. I wanted to hex him so badly. I wanted to _Sectumsempra_ his lungs (again) and chop off his limbs. This way, he'll learn that ignoring me is a very big mistake!

Slughorn gave us top marks on our potion and praised me for such a good potion, when it was Draco who did most of the job. Now I felt happy that he was ignored. _Take that, ferret..._

The third encounter was the worst. I was walking by myself in a corridor, when suddenly I was slammed forcefully against the wall. I had no idea where Malfoy even came from. He was grabbing my collar hard and breathing hot fast breathes on my ear. I tried to push him away but the man was so damn strong. His thighs pressed hard on mine to keep my legs in place. I just stood there unable to move a limb.

"Listen, _Potter._ I know you saved my life, OK? And I am NOT happy about it. I am not grateful to you. So STOP trying to be friendly to me. Stop acting like I owe you something. I DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING. I didn't want your help. Stop looking at me with sympathy and stop telling everyone about your heroic actions_"

"I didn't tell anyone about any_"  
"SHUT UP! And next time you see me killing myself, do not interfere. Understood?"

He punched me hard in my stomach. I screamed from the pain and saw stars on the back of my eyelids. When I opened them, Malfoy was gone. I swore that I will get him for that, but then my anger degraded when I realized that I would do the same to him if I felt him pitying me. Seriously, I hate it when people look at me with sympathy, and of course he hates it too. I must stop pitying him, or at least stop showing it.

* * *

My day got worse. After lunch, I returned to the common room to find my own girlfriend sitting on Dean Thomas's lap, devouring his mouth.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I shouted like a maniac, not believing what I saw.

"Harry…" said Ginny, surprised but not scared.

Dean, on the other hand, was scared. I guess he never saw me this angry before. He looked at me and then at her, then at me and said "Sorry, mate. She told me tha_"

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, DEAN! DON'T MAKE ME HEX YOUR ARSE! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

He ran out of the common room. I turned to look at Ginny. She looked so _fucking calm._ I expected her to beg for forgiveness or deny that I'd seen anything at all and tell me that I was imagining things, but she didn't look sorry at all!  
"Care to explain?" I asked.

"Harry, why are you so angry?"

"WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO REACT? I WALK IN TO FIND MY GIRLFRIND SNOGGING MY FRIEND AND YOU WANT ME TO BE BLOODY_ CALM?_"

"I am not your girlfriend," she said calmly.

My heart fell to my knees. I couldn't believe what she was saying. "What? What do you mean you're not my girlfriend? Of course you are."

"No. We broke up fourteen months ago."

"But that was before I left for the Horcrux hunt, then we returned back to each other!"

"No we didn't," she said.

"Yes we did. We fucking did. We were together for the whole summer!"

"No, you acted like we were just friends. You never gave the slightest indication that we are back together. I thought that you didn't see me as your girlfriend anymore. God, Harry, we didn't even kiss once!"

"Oh, really? Is that your excuse? Ginny, look, I am sorry I was ever your boyfriend. Even if we are a couple, then now we're not. I regret the day I had this foolish idea of ever ending up with you. You are the biggest mistake I ever had in my life. And you know what? FUCK YOU!"

I stormed out of the common room and walked so quickly it was almost a run. I could hear my heartbeats in my head. I have never been this furious in my life. I, Harry James Potter, was dumped by this bitch. I hate her. I hated to think that she might be true and I was deluded, but it doesn't matter. We're over now. 'I am not your girlfriend, Harry' she says. 'We are not together,' she says. Well guess what, I. DON'T. CARE!

As if today wasn't bad enough, I had to run into Malfoy on my way out.

"Potter_" he said.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, MALFOY!" He was quite shocked that he backed away from me quickly. Merlin, _I_ was shocked from myself. But… wait! This is the first time I saw an _expression_ on his face since the beginning of the year. Well, other than the angry frown he wore when he punched me earlier today…

I returned back to face him, slowly calming down. After catching my breath, I asked him "What do you want, Malfoy?" Part of me screamed to run before he punches me again, but I wasn't sorted into Gryffindor for nothing.

He seemed at a loss of words. "About what I did earlier today… I am_ I am s_"

Was that 'sorry' he wanted to say? When did Malfoy ever apologize for anything he's done? This must be the end of the world! Malfoy is apologizing to me. Yes he had trouble saying the word, but I guess that's what he wants to say.

"Can't you even say 'sorry'?" He looked relieved that he didn't have to say the word. "Well, you might find that hard to believe, Malfoy, but I accept your apology. Is that all?" I asked him, guessing that he had more to say.

"No. Well, I just… I just realized that I never thanked you properly. Um so, thanks…"

"For what?"

"Um, you know… Giving my wand back."

"That happened four months ago!"

"Yeah… See you around, Potter."

"Malfoy," He turned again to face me. "You're welcome… I guess."

His lips twisted upwards into a smile. He actually _smiled,_ and then left.

Why did he all of a sudden stop being a prat? Just today at noon he was hitting me and pushing me against a wall, and now he thanked me and apologized! This was so out of character.

When I returned back to the Common Room for the second time, it took me a long time to remember why I was angry earlier. Suddenly, it seemed like a silly reason to be.

* * *

That night, I spent hours in bed doing nothing but watching Malfoy's ink dot on the Marauder's Map. He was in his dormitory and never got out. I felt like I am guarding him, making sure he'll not attempt to do what he did earlier again. The dot moved out of the dorm then out of the Common Room. I was alarmed. What would make him leave the Slytherin Dungeons at this hour? It was two hours after curfew.

I had to follow him anyway. He was in the second floor when I got there. I was hiding under the Cloak, so he didn't see me. It was so dark in this corridor that I couldn't see ahead of me except his blonde hair that shined like a lantern. I accidently hit a suit of armor and its head fell on the ground. Malfoy startled and looked around searching for the source of the noise. I cursed myself.

"Who's there?" Shit! It was Filch. He'll give Malfoy detention if he caught him, and it will be my fault. The punishment for whoever wanders the castle after curfew is severe.

Filch's steps were approaching. "Don't think I will not get you, lad," he said. I thought quickly of what I should do, not knowing whether it would be any good to run. But then I ran to where Malfoy was standing and quickly grabbed him and hid him under the cloak.

"Umph_ What the hell? Potter?" He looked scared.

"Shhh!"

"Filch_"

"I said 'Shhh'"

I tried to breath quieter but I can't stop panting. I just hoped Filch's hearing senses weren't strong enough to hear our fast breaths.

"Show yourself! Peeves, was that you? Curse you, poltergeist." He finally gave up and left.

I took the Cloak off. "Bloody hell, that was close. What were you thinking of, Malfoy, wandering the corridors at this hour? Where were you going, huh?"

"Were you following me?" He asked with a threatening tone.

"No." I said quickly, and added lamely "I just happened to be here."

"Really?" He asked. He didn't look like he believed a word of it.

"Honestly." I prayed he'll not punch me again.

Malfoy let it pass. He was now looking at the Cloak in my hand with wide eyes.

"This is an Invisibility Cloak, right? You have a fucking Invisibility Cloak? I KNEW IT!"

"Yes…"

"Oh my God, that explains so much. But how did you know I was here? And why do you care if I get caught or not? And why are_ you_ out at this hour?"

"Can't you just say 'thanks for saving me from getting detention' and shut up? Now go back to your dormitory."

"You're not my mother, Potter. I do whatever the fuck I want"

"Of course you do. But now, will you please get back to your dorm."

Perhaps that 'please' was what saved me from getting punched.

"I can't sleep," he finally said. "I wanted to take a walk."

I sighed. "OK."

"Wait, I wasn't asking to have a walk with _you!_"

"I didn't say you were." I said.

"Fine."

"Fine."

We stayed in an awkward silence for a few seconds before I said "Do you want me to come with? Because I can't sleep either."

"Potter, please don't try to befriend me. This is the last thing I want to happen: me being your friend." He wrinkled his nose as if he smelled a badly brewed potion.

"Really? So why don't you go alone?" I snapped sharply. "And guess what, I don't want to befriend you either. I do not have prats and gits like you as friends, Malfoy."

"Yeah, you only befriend mudbloods and gingers…" he muttered.

That got my anger. I took my wand out of my pocket, not quite ready to use it though, and shouted. "At least I HAVE a friend, Malfoy, unlike you."

Oh, snap. That did it. His sneer dropped and he left. Oh God, I was supposed to be here to stop him from hating his life, not the opposite.

"Malfoy! Wait!" I shouted back at him. Surprisingly, he stopped. "I am sorry."

"I don't want an apology from you, _Potter_…" Still mad then…

"Malfoy, why don't we forget our pointless rivalry? Why don't we act like grown ups and put our childhood hatred behind us? Let's start from the beginning, huh? Hello, I am Harry Potter. And you are?" I asked holding out my hand to shake his. For a moment, I thought he'll reject me like I rejected him on our first year, and he'll have every right to do it. But he surprised me again. "Draco Malfoy" he said shaking my hand. I smiled widely and he smiled too. I noticed that we didn't let go yet, and pulled my hand away embarrassedly. "See, not bad, eh? We still haven't started hexing each other. Good progress!"

He chuckled at that, and that was the first time I heard him laughing at something I said, not at me nor my friends. He stopped quickly though, and I think he was wondering when he last laughed. We stood silent for a few moments, and then he said "You can walk with me… If you want. I mean, if you didn't want to, it's OK, but it would be alright if you did, but it seems like you don't, so no pressure_"

"Oh shut up. I'll come." And I said that not only to stop his babbling, but because I wanted to.

"N-Not that this means that I accept your friendship. I don't. We're still not friends, just to make everything clear. Ok?"

I liked the 'still'. "Sure!" I said.

We walked for so long, staying in complete silence.

"Why so silent, Potter?" He asked me.

"Mmm? Oh, uh… nothing to say."

"You look upset."

"Do I? Oh, yeah… Bad day."

"Yes, you were like a raged hurricane when I bumped into you earlier today."

"Yes."

"Mind if I asked why?"

I didn't know why I did that, but I told him. "My girlfriend sort of dumped me."

He was shocked too that I told him something personal like that. I waited for a comeback, but there wasn't any. "The Weaslette?"

I glared at him, and he shrugged. "What? She dumped you. You should not be sad I called her that. It's not even a bad word. Besides, she's the losing one. She dumped the _Savior of the Worlds._"

"Oh, my God! Was that a compliment, Malfoy? I am flattered!"

"No!" Malfoy blushed and looked away. 'I must have said it in a wrong way, then."

We were near the front doors now. They were closed, of course, at this hour, but I wanted to get out to the grounds, out of this dark place and into the fresh air. I knew a secret passage somewhere near here that can get us out to the lake shore. I found the passage. I took my wand – the repaired Phoenix-feathered wand – and muttered "_Dissendium_" and an archway appeared in the wall.

"Wow!" Malfoy exclaimed. "How did you do that?"

"It is a secret passage out of the castle. I just opened it…"

Malfoy looked at me as if I did something amazing, then the cold face came back.

We went outside and sat on the ground beside the lake. It was a beautiful night. The atmosphere was a bit warm and peaceful, and the silence was comfortable.

"So, Potter," Draco said. Oh, now _he's_ the one trying to start a conversation, not me. "Since we are so close from being, you know…"

"Friends? Is it that hard to say?"

"Well, yes. It's a terrible thought! But I meant to say 'starting a new page'. Anyway, tell me more about yourself."

"Malfoy, you know me for seven years. We tried to kill each other several times before. I am not a stranger to you!"

"Bloody hell, Potter, I am trying to be friendly and you're ruining it. Besides, you're making it sound like we're archenemies or something. We never wanted to kill each other, really."

"Oh, really?" I asked.  
"Yeah!" said Draco as if daring me to say otherwise. I decided to pretend that we weren't and let it pass. "You saved me. Twice." He said.

I looked at him, surprised that he admitted something like that. "Did I?"

"Oh, yeah. Last night… And during the battle; you saved me from the fire… And I never thanked you." He said that last sentence quickly and quietly as if hoping that I won't hear it.

"You're welcome."

"I still didn't thank you."

"Prat…" I murmured.

"That night… You were searching for something… A die-dum. What was it?"

"Is it anything of your concern?"

"Fucking hell," he said angrily. "I am trying to be_"

"Friendly, yes. It is a diadem. Not a _die-dum._"

"And what was it?"

"A Horcrux of Voldemort's"

"I heard that word before! 'Horcrux.' You said it, before you killed him! What does that mean?"

I started explaining to him all the Horcrux business. We talked so long this night, about Voldemort, wands, Horcruxes and Hallows until I did a bad thing. I asked him, "Why did you jump off the Astronomy Tower, Malfoy?"

He looked away. "It's none of your business!"

"Sorry…" I muttered. "I was just wondering why jump? If you wanted to kill yourself, why not just _Avada Kedavra_ yourself?" Just after the words left my mouth, I cursed myself. Great! Now I planted the idea in his mind. Shit!

He stayed silent for so long, but he finally muttered, "You think I haven't tried it?"

"You did?" I asked lamely.

He nodded sadly. "Apparently, one can't _Avada Kedavra_ oneself. The wand can't kill its owner. So, I thought that jumping off the topmost tower would do it fine and quick."

I wanted to ask him so many questions and try to convince him not to try to kill himself again, but I thought it would be counterproductive.

"It's getting late," I said. "We should get back."

Malfoy stood up after me and we walked slowly back towards the castle. I closed the secret passage after us when we entered.

"Well, I guess… Good night!" Malfoy said.

"Night, Malfoy." I was astonished at how much our relationship has changed in one day! Two days ago, the most kindly phrase I'd have said to him was 'Sod off' or 'Shut your fucking mouth'. Now, we were saying 'Good night' to each other… Judging by his raised eyebrows and blank stare, Malfoy was probably thinking the same thing.

"Wait a minute." I took the Marauder's Map out of my pocket. "_I solemnly swear that I am up to no good._" I checked the corridors and found that Mrs. Norris was in the fifth floor, but Filch was in the dungeons. Malfoy will have trouble returning to his dorm.

"What is this thing?" He pointed at the map.

"Long story…"

"Oh god, I hate you sometimes. All the time, actually."

"I know."

"Come on, tell me." He looked like a kid begging his father to buy him something. He was grinning like a fool, but he looked kinda cute. I had to kill myself for thinking of Malfoy as _cute! God, where did that thought come from?_

I explained to Malfoy the function of the Marauder's Map, mostly repeating Fred and George's words. "It's a map of Hogwarts that shows every secret passage, every room, every corridor and every person in every place, and what they're doing in every moment."

Malfoy's jaw dropped and then he snatched the parchment from my hands.

"HEY!"

He scanned it not believing his eyes. "Oh. My. God! Is this actually real?_ From where do you get this stuff?_ Look! There are two dots above each other! Urgh, Terry Boot and Michael Corner are shagging! I never knew Boot was a queer! Corner looked like a poof yes, but Boot?"

I snatched the map from his hands. _"DON'T. TALK. ABOUT. MY. FRIENDS. LIKE. THAT!_ Why do you care if they're gay or straight? What does it have to do with you, ha?"

"Calm down, Potter, I didn't mean anything…" Malfoy actually looked afraid I might turn on him. "And, blimey, how many friends do you have? Everyone I talk about turns out to be your friend... I never knew they were your friends, I am… _sorry._" The last word was so quiet it was barely audible, but it was enough for me to forgive him. Malfoy never said sorry to anyone I knew before. NEVER! And saying that to me means that he really doesn't want me to turn up against him; that he finally found someone to talk and spend his time with, even if that someone was me, his nemesis. I tried not to show my sympathy to him only for his sake.

I nodded. "Now listen, Malfoy. Filch is in the dungeons. You don't want him giving you a detention, do you? And you won't like serving detention in the forest again." I remembered how scared Malfoy was in our first year when we had to do detention together. He shook his head nervously.

"So, you take this," I said, handing him my Cloak. "My way will be safe when I return. I won't need the Cloak."

"You're giving me your Invisibility Cloak?" He asked disbelievingly.

"Yes! Just for the night. You'll give it to me back tomorrow morning, of course."

"You actually trust me with it?"

"Yes."

"You really do?" He asked, shocked.

"Um… no, but what bad will you do with it? The worst would be sneaking to the girls' bathrooms. Or the boys'"

Malfoy glared at me. "I am not a bloody faggot, Potter."

"Why so homophobic, Malfoy?"

"I am not! But I don't want anyone thinking that I am gay. Because I am_ not!_"

"I didn't say you were." I smirked. He took the Cloak, frowning, and turned to leave.

"Um… Thanks, I suppose…" he said.

I grinned. "You're welcome, Malfoy."

"Only to make sure that everything is clear: This doesn't change anything. I still bloody hate you. And we aren't friends."

"Yet." I said. My grin turned into a smile when he frowned but didn't say anything. "Now go!"

For the first time in weeks, I went to bed happy and I didn't even know why. I guess I liked the 'friendly Malfoy' more than the 'prat Malfoy'.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Hugging you feels way better than hexing you

"I fucking hate being a Head Boy" said Ron, once he returned from his HB duties. "What possessed McGonagall to make me a Head Boy? Why didn't she make _you_, or Neville, or Dean… Why me?"

"No thank you. I don't want to be." I said.

"And where were you last night?"

"What?"

"Your bed was empty for most of the night," Ron said and threw himself on the couch in front of the fireplace.

"You were awake? Well, I was with.. er_"

"Don't. Don't tell me you were with my sister. _Urgh_… too much information, mate."

"No. I wasn't. We broke up, actually…"

"What?" Ron gasped. "And you didn't mention it earlier?"

"Not exactly broke up… She dumped me for Dean."

"WHAT? Dean, again! Why, God, why?"

I didn't want to hear more about Ginny. And because my luck was always against me, I had to see her everywhere and almost every day since we were in the same school year now and had classes together. I regretted returning for my last year.

It wasn't like I was the lover who got hurt whenever he saw or heard about her, no. It was as if I was humiliated by someone who didn't deserve me. I wanted to shake her shoulders and tell her 'YOU ARE THE LOSING ONE, BITCH!'

"Hey, where are you going?" Asked Ron when he saw me leaving the common room. I still didn't say anything about Malfoy to my friends, so I made up a lie so he can let me leave. "Oh, and by the way, Quidditch Practice. Tomorrow Evening. Tell the others." I told Ron, who groaned but nodded anyway.

"At your service, Captain," said Ron sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up!" I said with a grin.

* * *

"Where is the Cloak?" I asked Malfoy.

"Good to see you, too." But he gave it to me anyway.

"Sneaked to any bathrooms?"

"No bathrooms. But I did sneak into the potions store, stole many useful potion ingredients, and to the Flitwick's class to correct some mistakes I had on the last quiz before he corrects it. And, Oh, I may have edited yours too. I don't think you'll pass Charms this year, Potter."

"You, git! I thought you'll never be able to do anything in such a short time!"'

"Bitch, I am Draco Malfoy."

"Remind me not to trust you with anything whatsoever again."

"I was only joking, Potter. I didn't do any of those things."

I sighed. Thank God that was a lie. I felt like a fool though that I believed what he said. "Enough chattering. I have classes to attend to," I said.

"You're not the only student in the school, Potter. See you after classes?" Malfoy asked hopefully, though he was trying not to make it so obvious.

"I have Quidditch practice."

He frowned. "After that?"

"Maybe…"

He smiled widely and then left.

It was good to know that you can make a person happy. But what I can't believe is that Malfoy slightly started to love his life, or appreciate it at the least, because of _me._ Because he was looking forward to the next time he'll _talk_ with someone. I wondered if he made another friend, and if he would return back to being the prat he was.

* * *

Quidditch practice was a disaster. Katie wasn't flying well. Demelza was worse. And Ginny was so damn good and it annoyed me! And Ron saved only two Quaffles out of twenty. We were definitely losing next match against Slytherin. And to make things worse, Malfoy was sitting on the benches watching.

It finally came to an end, and then came the riot of the showers – the most annoying thing about Quidditch. I was the last to shower. Everyone has left already. When I got out of the shower room I was startled to see Malfoy standing in front of me. "GOD, you scared the hell out of me. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? GET OUT!"

He giggled, and left. After I calmed down a bit, I realized my face was hot and knew I am blushing. Malfoy had seen me half naked with only a towel wrapped around my waist. Oh, God, why? _And WHY am I blushing?_ The whole Quidditch team had seen me in this state before and I never felt that shy. But I guess Malfoy was a different thing…

I dressed up quickly and left the stinky room. Malfoy was waiting outside.

"If you ever get into the shower room again while I am in there, I swear I am going to cut your throat and use it as a potion ingredient! Do you understand? And why the hell were you watching us practice?"

Malfoy chuckled and nodded. "You're blushing! Why are you so embarrassed?"

"You walked into me when I was half naked! What do you expect me to feel like?"

"So?" He asked matter-of-factly.

"I bloody hate you!"

"The feeling is mutual, Potter."

* * *

"You actually taught twenty of your friends Defense Against the Dark Arts in your fifth year? Wow!"

"You do realize that the 'Wow' thing is getting more frequent, don't you? I am starting to think that you're admiring me."

"HEY! I am not! And of course it is obvious that you're lying! No thirteen years old wizard can cast a Patronus Charm."

"You're the liar! I casted it once on you and your little friends when you were dressed as dementors." I said.

"That wasn't a real Patronus. It wasn't corporeal. Doesn't count…"

"You saw me casting it when the O.W.L.s testers asked me to do it."

"That was when you were fifteen."

"I learned it when I was thirteen. Believe it or not."

"You're always like that: arrogant, aren't you, Potter?"

"You just say that because _you_, an EIGHTEEN years old wizard, can't even cast a non-corporeal Patronus!"

"I can!"

"Prove it," I said challengingly.

"Alright I can't… Happy?" He sighed.

I chuckled. "Yes! But why can't you? Come on, try it. Maybe you could after all."

"No, I will not." He said firmly.

"I knew you were too scared to show me how a failure you are," I said, making it sound like a challenge.

"I am NOT!"

"Prove it, then." It worked.

Malfoy took his wand, and said "_Expecto Patronum!_"

Nothing happened…

He looked at me as if daring me to say something, but I didn't. I wanted him to succeed, I don't know why, but that what I honestly wanted. "You have to think of something happy. A happy memory."

He glared at me and said, "You don't say!" Then, he tried again. It was worse, as if that was possible. Nothing happened at all.

He sighed with desperation.

"Try again. I know you can do it." I said, encouraging him. "Think of a powerful memory. It doesn't have to be a real one. Just think of something or someone or _anything_ that makes you feel happy. And concentrate hard on it. Come one. Do it!"

"_Expecto Patronum!_" A silver light shot out of the tip of his wand, but it was too faint and went out in seconds.

"See? You are getting better…"

"I don't need your help, Potter. If I want to cast a Patronus Charm, I'd do without your help. And by the way, you're an awful teacher."

I knew somehow that Malfoy was mad because he can't find a happy memory, and felt powerless when he wasn't so successful, but I assured him that no one does it from the first time. He shouted at me and told me that he doesn't need my support. I laughed at his flushed face and changed the topic.

"We're going to slaughter you in tomorrow's match!" I teased him. "I will beat you to the snitch and watch you trying to catch up after me. I will kick your ass, like I always do."

"You will win? Ha-ha-ha. I saw how pathetic you were at the practice. And you're not going to beat me, because I will not be playing."

"What? Why? They replaced you?" Malfoy slapped me. It didn't hurt, though, so I let it pass.

"I _resigned_, Potter!" He spat.

"Why?"

"I don't want to play anymore."

"It's not normal of you."  
"Potter, you are so annoying! I am free to do what I want. I don't want to play Quidditch! Is that a crime?" This wasn't the first time Malfoy shouts at me for no apparent reason, I noticed.

"Tell me, Malfoy, are you really mad because I am annoying you, or are you mad because you're starting to like me and think of me as a friend, and that's annoying you?"

"I don't. Like. You!"

"But you didn't say that I am annoying you either." I grinned at his flushed face which was definitely not so cute!  
"And I didn't say that I like you either."

"I know you do…" I smirked.

"I don't."

"'Where did you get that, Potter?' 'How did you do that, Potter?' 'You trust me, Potter?' 'I want to see you after class, Potter!' 'You couldn't possibly be able to do something like that, Potter!' 'No thirteen years old wizard can do a Patronus, Potter!' You are an admirer. You're starting to become like Creevey."

Malfoy grabbed the collar of my robes. His face was flushed redder than a tomato. "I. HATE. YOU. POTTER!"

And then he left.

* * *

We slaughtered Slytherin at Quidditch. Our team was poor, but Slytherin's was a joke. Without Malfoy playing, I hated to admit, they had no qualified player at all. There was a party in the Gryffindor Common Room as usual, but I hated those parties. They were loud and noisy, and I was always surrounded by people making out. Why is it when I am in a relationship, there aren't any parties, and once I am single, there are parties with couples snogging everywhere?

I left the common room and went to the Great Hall. A quick peek at the Marauder's Map told me that Malfoy was there. I didn't see him since last night, and I started to realize that I missed the git, I hated to admit. I missed his sneer, his flushed face, and the way he says Potter! Why does he have to be a prat? If he could only be a good person, we would have been very good friends…

"Hey, Malfoy." He was sitting alone in the hall, crossing his arms and resting his head on them. I sat next to him.

"Sod off, Potter."

I ignored him. "I told you we will slaughter you! I caught the snitch in less than ten minutes."

"I hope you're so pleased, you high self-esteemed bastard!"

"You're still mad, then?"

"I am always mad at you. I HATE YOU, _POTTER!_"

"Yes, you've said that already before."

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"The party was starting to turn boring."

"Why don't you go to your little minions and enjoy your little party, and leave me fucking alone?"

"They are not my minions; they're my friends, Malfoy!"

"Whatever… The point is you leaving me alone."

"Why don't you join our party?" I asked, knowing the answer before it was spoken.

"You're a fucking mental. Do you expect me to go to the _Gryffindor_ part in your filthy common room, and celebrate the defeat of my house, because you invited me to?"

"No, I was just being nice." I put a hand on his shoulder, and was surprised when he didn't jerk it off.

"Sod off, Potter."

"Why are you so mad, Malfoy?"

"I am not mad! I just hate you!"

"Okay, I get it. But why are you mad. You're so upset and sitting alone by yourself and don't want to engage with anything, not even Quidditch."

He finally faced me. "Because fuck you, that's why! Why I sit alone? If you still haven't realized, because I don't have any friends. Pans and Blaise left me. They don't want to be in contact with the son of a criminal. Vincent is dead, and it was YOUR FAULT! Greg blames me on Vincent's death because I lured them to follow me following YOU! And my dad is in jail because of YOU and your fucking ministry. It always comes back to you, doesn't it, Potter? And I feel so bad because in the past weeks, I didn't have a simple conversation with anyone but YOU! And that makes me feel TERRIBLE, YOU KNOW THAT? I HATE YOU SO MUCH, AND I DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO TALK TO BUT YOU. Imagine that… And I hate that I owe you for saving my life, TWICE. And I hate that you're so kind to me, and so calm about it, when we should kill each other… You should hex me and I should use every known maiming curse on your stupid face. I. Hate. You…" The echo of his voice rang across the hall. Malfoy looked away from me and stared blankly on the opposite wall, before he continued but calmer this time. "I told Mum. I told her I don't want to come back. I won't bear the looks everyone gives me. Everyone looks at me as if I was the one who killed their families. Even your minions, Potter, who you see them as angels, look at me the same way. I hate every moment I stay here. Slytherin isn't anymore a proper Hogwarts house. We're looked at like we are all criminals. Like this fucking mark is all what we are." Malfoy pulled his sleeve pointing at the faded Dark Mark. I looked at it then back at Malfoy's face and saw traces of tears in the corners of his eye. "I want to die. I've failed in everything, even at dying. I don't want to live anymore, if I even call this _living._"

We stayed in silence for many uncomfortable seconds.

"Leave me alone, Potter. I don't know what you want from me. But I know I will be better if you left me alone."

I didn't know what to do. I felt so bad for him. Malfoy wasn't used to that. He was used to getting the attention of everyone. He was used to being the boss of his entire house. This was so harsh for him. I felt what he is feeling now millions of times before and they were mostly because of him. But now wasn't the time to blame him. I noticed that my hand is still on his shoulder. I didn't know why I did that, and I was sure I'll regret it once he shoves me off, but I did it anyway: I pulled him into an embrace. I waited for the blow, but Malfoy managed to surprise me again. He rested his chin on my shoulder and cried silently. I held him tighter in my arms and patted his back.

"Malfoy, I am so sorry." I didn't know what exactly I am apologizing about, but he apparently thought that I am the one to be blamed. "I didn't mean all of this to happen to you. I might not be fond of you, but that doesn't mean that I don't care about you. That doesn't mean that I want you dead. You know how much you scared me when I thought I killed you with that spell in my sixth year? I still have nightmares of you dying by my hand. If I wanted you dead, I'd have left you fall or burn. And I am sorry; I tried to save Vincent, but it was too late. You have to know that even if you don't see this, but there are people out there who care about you, and I am one of them."

Malfoy was still I thought he'd slept on my shoulder. "Malfoy…"

I shook him. No answer. "MALFOY!"

Something was wrong. If he was asleep, my voice would've waked him up by now. "Malfoy, wake up!" I pulled him away from me, and his head fell on the table. He was completely unconscious. "Oh, no! Not again… His breathing was normal, so he wasn't dead, thank God!

"_Locomotor!_" I pointed my wand at his body and he became weightless. I carried him on my shoulder and ran to the hospital wing.

It was like the first time I got him here all over again, only with a different reason. "What is wrong with him?" I asked the matron after she gave him nourishing potions and Dreamless Sleep.

"He has an emotional shock and suffers from lack of nutrition. Apparently he hasn't eaten anything in the last four days. He'll be fine; he just needs some rest."

I can't help wondering about this, so I asked her: "Umm, Madam Pomfrey, did you contact Mrs. Malfoy about what happened earlier?"

"I sent her an owl, yes"

"And did she answer your letter?"

"No, I am afraid."

"And Professor Slughorn?"

"He said that he would not like to be involved in Mr. Malfoy's personal life." I remembered how Slughorn was like. If there was only one person in the world who's racist against Death Eaters and their whole families it would be him, except if Mad-Eye was still alive. Of course Slughorn wouldn't like to interact with a family best known of bearing the Dark mark and using its house as a headquarters to the darkest wizard of all time.

"You can leave now, Mr. Potter. Mr. Malfoy is well tended."

"No, I think I should stay…"

"But he won't be awake before the morning!"

"It doesn't matter. If you can just lend me a pillow; I will spend the night in this chair." I pointed at the chair nearest to Malfoy's bed.

"Of course…"

I looked at Malfoy's sleeping face. He looked more peaceful now. I was sad that I can't make him have a nice life. Everything has turned against him, and it was not fair. Of course the boy isn't a saint, but he doesn't deserve all of this!

"Sleep well," I said, stroking his soft blonde hair. "It will get better tomorrow…" Before I dozed off, I vowed that I will help Malfoy as much as I could. I will let it be my responsibility to make sure that Malfoy will never hate his life enough to commit suicide again, whatever it takes.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: I love my first name

When I woke up, it was already afternoon. Malfoy wasn't in his bed. _The bastard! _He has awakened and left me? He knew that I spent the whole bloody night next to him just to make sure that he's OK and then he leaves me sleeping in this torture chair? That's my reward for being kind? _The bloody ferr__

"Potter!" Malfoy came from the direction of the bathroom. I thought badly of him this time. He was only in the bathroom…

He looked pretty alright.

"You're awake!" I said.

"Good eye-sight, Potter."

"Shut up… Are you feeling Ok?"

"Yes I am; thank you."

There was a brief moment of awkwardness when I didn't know if I should leave or not, but then Malfoy finally talked.

"This woman won't let me leave this bloody place. She says I have to stay two more hours."

"Malfoy, why do you not eat? Madam Pomfrey said that you haven't eaten for four days! Why?"

"Because eating means that I will stay alive. And I don't want to live. I told you that before. This is my third attempt of murdering myself, and yet I have failed again."

"Oh, will you please stop this madness? Why do you want to die, huh? Are you sure it's going to be any better after death? You want to die before you do any good in your life?"

Draco stared at me so long then looked away. I hated not knowing what he's thinking. If he could only give some _expressions_ on his cold face…

"Why did you stay all night? You missed all your classes by sitting next to me. Why?"

"Did you hear any word I told you last night?"

"Yes."

"Then you know the answer. Because I care about you." Malfoy looked away from me, but I swear I saw a trace of a smile on his face. A sad smile, yes, but it was an improvement anyway.

"You do?" He asked quietly.

"Yes. I do. Is that hard to believe?"

"Coming from you, Potter, yes, it is hard to believe."

"I told you. That doesn't mean that I hate you any less…" I teased him.

"The feeling is mutual, Potter." He smirked.

* * *

After Malfoy left the Hospital Wing, we went to the Great Hall for lunch. He didn't want to eat no matter how hard I pleaded. I told him that I will sit at the Slytherin table and eat with him so he won't be alone, and I was so surprised when he agreed!

After lunch, I went back to the Common Room, hoping to find Ron or Hermione and ask them about what I've missed in today's lessons, but they weren't there. I borrowed Neville's notes instead and returned back to Malfoy who was waiting outside the portrait hole. We both decided to study the missed lessons and do our homework together.

"Potter," said Malfoy as he was writing his Transfiguration assignment. We were sitting beside the lake at my favorite spot in Hogwarts.

"Yeah?" I said, not taking my eyes off my Charms book. I was leaning against a tree trunk and my back started to ache.

"I am bored…" Malfoy laid his head on my lap and stared at the sky. I stiffened… Malfoy was so out of character these days. First, insisting on meeting with me every day. I agreed because we now both know that Malfoy had no one but me and I didn't want to upset him. And now this! He's actually laying his head on my lap. I don't know why it felt awkward. Anyone seeing us now would misunderstand and start spreading weird rumours across the school.

Malfoy took the book from my hands. I glared at him.

"I said I'm bored!" He repeated.

"So I have noticed." I snatched the book back from him. "What do you expect me to do about it?"

"You're supposed to suggest something else to do other than homework. Something not_ boring_…"

"Ok!" I closed my books and packed my bag. "Let's play Quidditch! Seeker game. And I will beat you to the snitch, like I always do."

Malfoy smiled and got really interested. He finally got off me, and I was ready to forget what had just happened.

We played for hours. I beat him many times and he beat me too. It was dark and we had already missed dinner when we finally finished. Panting, we headed for the changing rooms.

"But you have to admit," Malfoy smirked, "that if only my broom was faster than yours, I'd have beaten you on every go. You were just cheating."

"Rubbish," I said with a smirk, "we exchanged brooms three times, and I still won!"

"You did not. It's a tie."

"Did you count? No. And neither did I. But I perfectly remember that I caught the snitch more than you did."

"Your memory is weak. I remember otherwise. We should definitely do that again one day, and count this time. And you'll see… I will be the winner."

"Maybe next weekend?" I suggested.

"Sounds good," Malfoy nodded then laughed. "Oh, whenever I remember… your face when you… fell off your broom!" he said between laughs. "Don't tell me… that you were trying… to do the Wronski Feint again!"

I flushed. "Shut up! It's not funny!"

"You know it is." He finally stopped laughing now. "Anyway, let's go take a shower quickly and return to the castle. I am starving."

Before Malfoy entered a shower stall, I heard him hissing "_Expecto Patronum,_" and saw a bright light shining across the place. There was some progress, then. I smiled knowing that Malfoy probably used tonight's game as his happy memory since it's the only interesting thing Malfoy has done in months. He certainly had so much fun laughing when I caught the air instead of a snitch or when I accidently slammed into a stand that was right in front of me. Still, I felt happy that I was the one who made him laugh after weeks of depression.

I washed quickly and got dressed before Malfoy finishes. I felt grateful for that because I didn't want him to see me changing. Last time, when he saw me half-naked, it did some… _unusual_ things to me. I didn't want that to happen again. Malfoy, on the other hand, didn't seem to care. He got out of the shower with a short towel wrapped around his waist. He was soaking wet. Bloody hell, but Malfoy was _fit!_ I never thought that under his clothes there will be this perfect body. His chest was muscular and he had perfect abs, all six of them! And his hipbones were another beauty… God, Malfoy was _smoking hot!_ With that short towel around his lean waist, he looked like those models on _Witch Weekly_.Water dripped from his chest and his so lickable nipples_ Wait, what? _What am I thinking?_

I noticed that I spent so many seconds admiring his body, and immediately felt my face burn. My heart started returning back from where it was somewhere in my toes, and my throat started slowing down its pulse. I knew I was red like a tomato, and wondered if Malfoy saw me_ looking and gazing_ at his body. I cursed myself for losing control. What the hell was I thinking… thinking of Malfoy as hot? I wasn't just fucking fantasizing about Malfoy! No, I wasn't. I'll just pretend that this never happened. When I looked at him again, I noticed something else that I haven't seen earlier while I was studying his body. He had many scars on his forearms, other than the one on his faded Dark Mark. Wounds that looked recent, and others that weren't. I immediately recognized what they were and my jaw dropped.

"Malfoy!" I said as I approached the boy. "What are those?" I took his arm and pointed at his scars. He snatched his arm away, and took his clothes to dress.

"STOP HERE, MALFOY!" I shouted angrily. "You will tell me right now what those are!"

He stopped and looked at me, but remained silent.

"You cut?" I asked disbelievingly. I knew I mustn't be surprised. I should have expected that from a person who attempted to kill himself. But committing suicide is one thing and cutting is another. I can't imagine Malfoy crying in a corner and running a blade on his arm.

"It's none of your business." He said lamely.

"Why? I understand of course that many bad things happened to you, but why can't you see the bright side of your life? Nothing is totally bad. There must be something good in your life."

"You don't understand anything…"

"Yes, I do, Malfoy. I know more about you than you do. I know that the Ministry took your house and that your mother has no place to live in, and I know you pity yourself for being in such a humiliated state after being from the most wealthiest people in the Wizarding World. I know that you lost your friends, wealth and practically everything. But you're still better than many others in this life. At least you have both of your parents alive. At least you have a family, even if not friends."

"And this family you're talking about, Potter… Where is it? My father is in jail, and my mother is living in a tiny hotel, alone. Every day and the other, the bloody Ministry finds another crime to accuse my parents for, and she pays more and more reparations until we were left with nothing. You don't understand anything of what you're saying. You have no idea how hard it is"

"Really? You think that? Well guess what? I have suffered much more horrible things in my life. I've lost many things and many people, and here I am! I never self-harmed. Never thought of committing suicide, not once! Not because everything was okay, but because I believed that it could be one day. And I knew that desperation will not solve anything. So now, Malfoy, I want you to promise me that you'll never cut again. Do it! Promise me. Try it. Believe me, there is still hope in life. And I will help you as much as I can."

"I don't need your help, Potter. The last thing I want is getting help from you."

"Yes you do. Stop being so stubborn and pretending that you despise me! Get over your old rivalry."

"What do you want, Potter?"  
"I want you to promise me."

"And if I do, will you shut up?"

"Yes."

"Ok," he sighed. "I promise I will never cut again. Happy?"

"I will be happier if you keep your word for it. Go put your clothes on. I will be waiting for you outside."

* * *

Malfoy didn't take much time dressing. We walked towards the castle in silence, both trying to forget our little chat back there in the shower rooms.

"We obviously missed dinner," I said. "Let's go to the kitchens."

"To where?" asked Malfoy.

"The kitchens. You've never been there before?"

"No. Have you? Well, obviously yes…"

"Come on, let's go."

Kreacher wasn't so happy to see me. But he packed us a lot of food from tonight's dishes anyway, and we carried the food and left the roomy kitchens.

"Where shall we eat? The Great Hall?" Malfoy suggested.

"Boring. Let's go to where we were earlier. By the lake."

"Okay…"

We made our picnic beside the lake, and ate while listening to the calm waves of the Black Lake caused by every move of the Giant Squid. There was a nice soothing breeze. The atmosphere was calm and peaceful. After we finished eating, we sat still as we were not intending to end this peaceful moment. Malfoy rested his head on my lap like he did earlier today, and I fought hard not to think about his closeness. He stared at the sky, gazing at the bright stars that shined in this clear night sky.

"See there," he said quietly, pointing at a set of stars, "this is my constellation."

"Draco," I said. He turned his head and his grey eyes were fixed on mine. "No, um… I wasn't calling you. I was just naming the constellation…" He kept his eyes on me, but I broke the contact and suddenly seemed more interested in those stars. I saw the bright star Sirius. Even after about two years of his death, I still wasn't able to stop my eyes from tearing whenever I remembered my godfather.

"You're crying…" said Malfoy.

"No I am not" I said firmly. He reached his hands and rubbed the tears out of my eyelids. I tried not to shiver at his smooth touch.

"I've never seen you cry before. I thought you were immune to that weakness" Malfoy said, after finally removing his hands from my face. "While _you_ saw me crying many times, and they were of the most embarrassing moments in my life."

"Crying is not a weakness. It's a nature of human beings. When we're sad, we cry."

"And why are you sad now?" He asked.

"Nothing. It was just silly of me to remember my godfather at this moment. He was the last family I had, and I lost him. Your_ Your aunt killed him." I had absolutely no idea why I was telling him this.

"I am sorry, I guess…"

"See, Malfoy? I've lost my mother, father, my godfather, and my father's best friend. I have no family at all now. And do I cut or kill myself? No."

He sighed. "At least you have friends. Even if not of the best sort, but you still have someone to talk to and share with them your happy and sad moments of your life."

"Would you rather have friends than a family?"

He stayed silent for too long until he finally answered, "No."

I nodded firmly, once. "See?"

He stayed silent, and I thought that I might have convinced him that his state isn't the worst.

"Let's get back to the castle." I said standing up quickly and shoving his head off my lap. "We still haven't finished our homework."

"Yeah, you're right."

On my way back to the common room, I realized something strange. I had spent my whole day with my ex-arch nemesis, and it was a good day - apart from all the weird things that happened today... I felt great. I wasn't exactly happy, but I felt… _alive._

Once I passed through the portrait hole, Ron and Hermione shouted at me "Where the hell have you been all day?"

"What?" I asked, still not catching up. It seems like I suddenly forgot that I haven't seen my friends since last night.

"You didn't even sleep in your bed last night. And you didn't attend your classes, either."

"Um… Doing my homework outdoors. I hate doing it in this noisy room."

Ron and Hermione exchanged looks because the common room was so quiet. We were the only ones in the here.

"And after that?" asked Hermione.

"I went flying." I said.

"And where is your broom?" asked Ron.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, stop interrogating me like I am a criminal or something! I left the damn broom in the bloody broom shed in the fucking Quidditch Pitch!"

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down, mate! You just gave us a scare when you were nowhere to be seen!"

Hermione gave me a disappointed look for my vulgar language.

I didn't know why I suddenly became so angry, when I was just enjoying myself a moment earlier. "I am sorry," I sighed. "I was with Malfoy," I answered their question truthfully. I decided it's time to tell them about him.

"I beg your pardon?" said Ron, not believing what I said.

"I was with Draco Malfoy. I had lunch with him and then we solved our homework together. Then I played Quidditch with him, had dinner, and then came here."

Ron looked at me like I've grown two heads. "Why?" He finally asked.

I told them everything about Malfoy, except of course how I felt when I saw him half-naked and when he laid his head on my lap…

"But why didn't you tell us earlier?" asked Hermione.

I was prepared for this. "For several reasons: first, after what happened between me and Ginny, I was trying to avoid the common room and so I barely saw you two outside the classrooms. Second, Malfoy doesn't want anyone else to know about his pathetic state, and please, act like you know nothing while he's around. And third, because you don't like him, and I knew you wouldn't approve of what I did."

"It's not a matter of approval. It's just… So you're telling me that Malfoy is now your friend?" asked Hermione. "And thus ours too?"

"What do we have to with this, Hermione?" asked Ron. "We are definitely not his friends. He hates us. And we hate him more."

Hermione ignored him. "I can't believe this… I didn't realize how harsh the laws were to them until now. But it's so good of you Harry to do all of this. I mean, to be friendly to your nemesis, it must have taken a great deal of nerve to cope with this."

Ron looked at her disapprovingly, but didn't say anything.

"This must be stopped," said Hermione. "All this harsh punishments against the Death Eaters... This isn't helping. It's like what happened after World War One all over again, when the Treaty of Versailles was made. It was so harsh that_"

"Hermione," I interrupted.

"Oh, sorry… yeah, we should do something! The Ministry must know that it's wrong to arrest the Death Eaters without a trial. I mean, yes they are Death Eaters and all, but at least let them have a trial so it can be fair."

"I will send an owl to Kingsley," I said. "I'll ask him if there was a trial for Lucius Malfoy. If not, I will demand him to do one, whatever it takes me to do or say. I don't think that Lucius did so many crimes like the other Death Eaters. Kingsley will listen to me. He thinks I am a figure of authority just because I killed Voldemort."

Hermione nodded approvingly. "You must also tell Narcissa about her son's state. I don't think she knows. Tell her to be in touch more with him. Maybe it will help if she owls him every day and the other."

"Madam Pomfrey owled her but she didn't get a reply. I don't know if Narcissa got the owl in the first place or not."

"Remind me again," said Ron, "why are we trying to save Malfoy from killing himself? Don't you see that it's perfect? Instead of having us killing him, he's doing the job himself so we won't live with guilt."

Hermione glared at him. "Ron, we may not like him, but that doesn't mean we want him dead."

"He wants us dead. Why should we be any different?"

"No he doesn't" I said. "Malfoy has changed so much. The war experience taught him many lessons, and he has become a better person. You noticed he stopped bullying kids and taunting us, don't you?"

"Yeah," said Ron, but still didn't look convinced.

"And his life became so harsh that even cutting didn't feel like it was enough, so he went for suicide. No one would like anyone to live like that! Even if it was Malfoy!"

"I think you're right, Harry," Hermione said. "I mean, if Malfoy started liking you, he must have changed a lot."

"No, he still doesn't like me. He reminded me more than one time that we are not friends."

"No," said Hermione. "I don't think Malfoy hates you. Of course he won't tell you that he likes you either; he doesn't want to reach that level of humiliation, but judging from what you said, that you spent the whole day playing Quidditch and helping each other with the homework, I think that Malfoy is starting to think of you as a friend. Not only because he has no one else, but because he saw the real you. And everyone who knows you well can never hate you."

I smiled at her, "thanks, Hermione." From the inside however, I was bursting with joy. I just hoped Hermione was right and Malfoy _did_ like me. I didn't know why I cared whether he did or not, but I knew that I'd be very glad if he stopped hating me.

* * *

After sending a letter to Kingsley and another one to Mrs. Malfoy, I curled in my bed and pulled the covers over to my chin. Despite being tired, I couldn't sleep. My mind was so busy thinking about many things…

I didn't check on Malfoy on the Marauder's Map. I had faith that he will keep his promise and will never attempt suicide again. But I was thinking of the rush of emotions I felt tonight. After a long conflict between my heart and brain, I finally admitted to myself that I might be having some feelings toward Malfoy. The thought was so disturbing because:

_One_, I can't be gay! I am straight. I had sex with Ginny. I didn't like it, maybe, but I thought that was because we weren't experienced. Now, I think I might be wrong.

_Two_, it is bloody Malfoy.

_And three_, it is bloody fucking Malfoy, for god's sake!

But then again, there will be no harm if I had thoughts for Malfoy, right? Thoughts will never be revealed and will stay a secret in my mind forever. No one would know about them.

Just before I can go to sleep, I heard an owl tapping on my window. I opened the glass and untied the letter from the huge owl, which I recognized as Malfoy's. A small piece of parchment read:

Potter, If you can, please come to the Dungeons.

The password is 'Morgana'

Wear the Cloak.

DM

I wondered why Malfoy wanted me to go to him now when we were just together minutes ago, but I took my Cloak anyway and left. Ron and Hermione didn't see me leaving as they were so busy snogging angrily on the couch.

When I reached the wall that hid the door of the Slytherins' Common Room, I wore the Cloak and muttered the password. I descended to the dorms, to the seventh room (as I had guessed would be for the seventh years' students, and I was right.)

"Malfoy, what is it you wanted to see me for?" He was lying on his bed and covered with dark green covers.

"Potter, you finally came!"

"Something wrong, Malfoy?"

"I am so terrified! I can't sleep."

"What is it? Something happened?" I asked impatiently.

"I am afraid to go to sleep and have nightmares again. Like every night."

"You brought me, all the way from my dormitory till here, because you're having nightmares?" He must have gone mad! Seriously…

"Yes," Malfoy nodded. His face was the only thing visible from the covers. He was pulling the covers tightly around him as if his life depended on it. "Problem?" Oh, God. He looked so cute with that childish face. I wanted to smack myself for letting my brain think of him as cute… again.

"No, Malfoy. No problem at all." I sighed and sat on the bed beside him which once has belonged to one of his friends. "What do you want me to do?"

"What do people do to let other people stop having nightmares?"

"Mmm… I don't know." I reached my hand to touch his. I prayed not to blush from a mere touch, or worse getting stopped by Malfoy, but he didn't seem like he wanted me to let go of it. He smelled of alcohol, and I knew that Malfoy was drunk when I saw the evidence: beside him on the table was a half-finished bottle of Firewhisky. I had no idea from where did he bring it, though.

"From where did you get the Firewhisky?"

"Stole it from the kitchens."

"I shouldn't have showed you the way in… I muttered to myself.

"Can you stay here with me till I sleep?" He asked, and I suddenly found my throat very dry. "Please?" He added.

My heart was beating rapidly, and I didn't know why. "I have to go to my House, Malfoy_" I said.

"You said you cared about me!" He groaned.

"I do."

"Then why not sleep here on one of those beds. I hate being alone all the time."

"You are not alone, now."

He smiled. "I'll take that as a yes, then?" I had to agree. I can't say no to that cute face he wore now. Who knew that Firewhisky could turn Malfoy into a cuddly teddy bear?

"I suppose… It would do no harm if I stayed here for the night."

Malfoy beamed like he was never happier in his life.

"Thanks, Harry…"

I was petrified! He called me 'Harry'. He never called me by my first name before. I tried not to linger my thoughts for too long on how beautiful it sounded passing through his lips.

I finally found my voice, and said "Good night." I finally let go of his hand and slept on the bed I was sitting on. I muttered "_Nox,_" and the lights went out.

* * *

Malfoy wasn't lying. He was having nightmares. He woke me up twice in the night and wasn't able to return back to sleep until I sang him songs and stroked his head, as if I was putting a baby to bed.

In the morning however, his childish self was gone, and Malfoy was back to normal.

"Morning, Malfoy," I said sleepily.

"Mornin', Potter."

I quickly got out of bed and made the bed up, before Malfoy demands me to do it. The man always wants everything to be proper.

As I was stepping out of the door, Malfoy said "Potter."

I turned back to look at him.

"Umm, thanks... You know, for staying with me the whole night."

"No problem, Malfoy. Friends are for each other. Don't drink too much next time, though."

He smiled.

"So you agree then?" I asked.

"Agree on what?"

"That we are friends."

"I think we have passed that part, yes."

I grinned widely, and left…

* * *

AN: Reviews are like cookies, whether they're chocolate-chipped or Oreos, one can never get enough of them. So please review and let me know what do you think of this fic.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: It is _not_ a date!

When I returned to Gryffindor Tower, I went to my bed and messed it up so Ron won't know that I didn't sleep here for the night. Thankfully I have left the curtains around the bed closed before I left yesterday, so he mustn't have noticed my absence when he returned to the dorm after I left.

Pigwidgeon arrived with two letters. I took the first one, which was from Kingsley. It was full of babbling about laws and new codes, but he promised me that he'll reconsider Malfoy's case, only as a favor to me. Narcissa, on the other hand, has told me to leave her and her son alone or she will hex my arse. Stubborn, like all Malfoys…

I dressed and prepared for classes. Unfortunately, we didn't have any shared classes with the Slytherins today, so I won't be seeing Malfoy until after classes.

I was going to the common room after dinner when I ran into him. "Hey, Malfoy," I said.

"Potter!" For a moment, his face lit up with excitement, but then his cold façade returned. "Why didn't you have dinner with me? You left me sitting alone!"  
I chuckled. "I am sorry, Malfoy. How was your day?"

"Good, I suppose… Mom owled me toda_" He stopped talking as if he suddenly remembered that he mustn't tell me that.

"Is she alright?"

"Yeah. She's fine."

"Got any better luck casting your Patronus?" I asked, suddenly remembering that he was able to cast it yesterday in the shower room.

He looked surprised for the random question. "Yeah! Yes, in fact I have been practicing and look…_ Expecto Patronum!_" A strong bright light lit the corridor we were standing in. It didn't make a shape of an animal, though. Still not corporeal, then…

"That's brilliant, Malfoy! Bravo!"

He looked quite pleased with himself, judging by his wide proud smile.

"Come on…" I said. "Let's take a walk." He nodded approvingly and followed me.

We went to our usual place beside the lake shore. For a moment, I stayed silent, not knowing what to say. But then we started to talk. We talked that night about many things. And by many, I mean so many.

"… But she was never my girlfriend," Malfoy finished. We were talking about Pansy Parkinson now.

"So you never dated anyone?"

Malfoy blushed and shook his head. "You?" He asked. "Other than the Weaslette, I mean?"

"Cho Chang. In my fifth year. It didn't end up well. Actually it was a catastrophe. And so was Ginny's."

"Bad luck with women, eh?"

"Yeah…" I sighed. "I am tired. Let's get inside."

"No. You go. Good night, Potter."

"Ok. But don't be late. Curfew is in thirty minutes. Good night."

* * *

After six weeks since the incident at the Astronomy Tower, I can tell that Malfoy looked a lot happier. And I became more confused. I knew my feelings for Malfoy were getting stronger. I didn't blame myself, though. It was his fault, he looks so beautiful and charming.

We met every day after classes. It became a habit. Still, I always miss him at night. Sometimes I'd go sleep in his dorm, but only when he asks me to.

Tomorrow is Halloween and that meant that there is going to be a trip to Hogsmeade on that day. The headmistress announced it after dinner. I asked Malfoy if he'd go.

"Are you asking me on a date?" He smirked.

"Shut up! It's not like that. I thought it'd be nice if we went together, it's better than staying in the castle."

"Still sounds like a date… And aren't you going to be with your friends? Why ask me? You know I despise their presence."

"No. I won't be with them. I don't like being with them when we're on these trips. I feel like I'm a third wheel."

"Okay. I will go out with you."

"Shut up, Malfoy! It's not a date!"

"I didn't say it was. I meant I will be going, with you, out." His smirk turned to a grin. "Come on, we'll be late for potions. And by the way, you're blushing…" He said, matter-of-factly.

Am I? Oh, God, why now? I looked away from his gaze, suddenly interested in my finger nails…

* * *

"Harry, you do realize you spend so much time with Malfoy?" Hermione asked when we were alone in the Common Room. She had to be the observant and ask me this question. "You spend time with him more than with us."

"That's not true! I only see him after classes."

"Yeah, and stay with him until the evening! You even eat your meals with him."

"I think we both know why I am doing that. We spoke of this before."

"But it's getting_"

"What do you want, Hermione?" I snapped. "No seriously, what do you want?"

"Nothing…" She shook her head, with traces of a smile on her face.

"Where is Ron?"

"In duty. Do you know he's asked me out for tomorrow's trip?"

"Really? That's great! He finally did it!"

"About time, yeah. So tomorrow you're_"

"No, of course, I'll leave you together. Anyway, I won't be alone."

"Really? Why? Are you having a date too?"

NOT A DATE! Why does everyone think it is a date? "No. No. Of course not. That's just ridiculous. No."

"Okay, got it! Who are you going with?"

I looked away from her, "Malfoy…"

I heard her giggle but she stopped when I looked at her sternly.

* * *

I woke up early in the morning before everyone else. I didn't eat breakfast deciding it would be better to wait for Malfoy. I was walking by the lake enjoying the cold autumn breeze and staring at the clear water. Suddenly, I felt like swimming. I went to a shallow area, took off my clothes, and took a dip. The water wasn't cold. It was warm and nice.

I was scared to death when I popped my head out of the water and found Malfoy standing on the shore watching me.

"Morning, Potter," he said. "Mind if I join you?"

I wanted to say yes, but that would be rude. I shook my head, and slowly he took off his clothes and jumped into the water. I was awarded with a brief view of Malfoy in his pants and I saved it into my mind for later use. I guessed that I was probably blushing right now, so I sank into the water to hide my face. I was determined to stay away from Malfoy in the water. I knew I won't stand him being near me while we are so naked and swimming alone in a lake without having my head turn into a hairy Quaffle.

"Did you have breakfast?" He asked.

"No, I was waiting for you." I said.

"Good boy."

We swam for about an hour though it felt like minutes. We both casted the Bubble-head Charm so we can dive to watch the fish and the merpeople without popping up every now and then for air. I noticed that Malfoy was determined to come close to me as much as I was determined to be away.

"Come on," said Malfoy once we popped out of the water and cancelled our charms. "I am starving. Let's go."

"Okay," I said, but stood where I was.

"Do you want to stay a little bit more?"

"No. I am coming after you…" I wanted him to go on so I can follow him later and dress without him watching me, but I thought that was impossible, so I went after him.

I fought hard not to look at him at all, knowing that if I did, I will start becoming a tomato. I gave him my back as I casted a charm to dry my body and dressed quickly.

"Can you do this spell on me? I am not so good at it." He admitted.

"Of course," I said and casted it with my eyes on the ground.

"Thanks."

But of course, I can't help but look at him as he dressed, and admire the way his briefs are tightened around his fine ass. I noticed that there were no fresh scars on his arms too. He had kept his word then…

* * *

Hogsmeade was as crowded as it always was. I nearly lost Malfoy in the crowd of the street, twice.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked him.

"With you, anywhere is great." My mouth dried. I didn't know why he said that. He didn't sound sarcastic at all. I realized I have been staring at him for so long, so I finally looked away.

"You're blushing." He said.

"Shut up!" That was one of the most awkward moments of my life.

We went to the Three Broomsticks.

"Oh, why here?" Malfoy groaned.

"You don't like it here?"

"Bad memories…"

Now I remembered. Malfoy had cursed Katie Bell in this place. It must have reminded him of the times he was a servant of Voldemort.

"We can go to Madam Puddifoot's Tea shop if you don't like this place," I suggested.

Malfoy chuckled. "And you're trying to tell me that this is not a date? Madam Puddifoot's is for lovers, Potter."

"Shut up!" I felt my face burn again. This is going to be a difficult day.

"It's fine, Potter. It's not so bad in here…"

We sat at a table beside the windows and ordered two Butterbeers. We stayed in comfortable silence until the drinks came.

"Potter, do you know that the Ministry has returned half of our taken properties, including the Manor? They said that there has been a mistake in calculating the required reparations and shit like that."

"No," I lied. "How should I know about that? But that's great!"

"I thought you might have a hand in these turns of events. If someone can convince the Ministry to reconsider our case, it has to be the Savior of the Wizarding World."

"Oh, stop it. You know even I couldn't do that."

"I know you could. Anyway, they are allowing my father to have a fair trial."

Of course I knew about this news. I have nagged and begged Kingsley for the whole past month until he finally did something. I convinced him that Mr. Malfoy has every right to have a trial before getting arrested. I told Kingsley 'not to repeat Fudge's mistake' when he arrested Sirius without a trial, and that was probably what put him into action. "That's very good news, Malfoy. Do you have a lawyer?"

"We had. But I don't know if we still do after, you know…"

"You have to get a good one. Maybe they'll be able to get your father out of jail."

"Why do you care, Potter?" Malfoy asked calmly. "I can understand why you care about me alright, but my father? You should be happy he is imprisoned. He's one of the reasons your godfather was killed."

"Why should I? He didn't do anything bad to me."

"He was siding with your enemy!"

"It doesn't work like that. There are no sides. It's not black and white. If I should hate everyone who sided against me, then I'll have half this world against me."

Malfoy smiled but didn't say anything.

When we got out of the pub, we were back in the crowd. I felt something brushing against my hand and was startled when I saw that it was Malfoy's hand. He took my hand in his. _Oh God, he's holding my hand!_ I was so stiffened to let go, and even if I wasn't, I wouldn't have let go. His hand felt so soft in mine. I was looking away from him, knowing that if I met his gaze, I'll start blushing again. So there we were, in Hogsmeade, walking and holding hands, and I was still insisting that this was definitely NOT a date!

We didn't let go until we returned back to Hogwarts about half an hour later. By then, most of the students had got bored and returned to the castle. We didn't go inside, however. We sat in our spot under the trees in complete silence. I was sitting in my usual position leaning on a tree's trunk and looking at the water. Malfoy rested his head on my lap again, staring not at the sky as he usually did, but at me. I met his gaze and he looked away…

"Where do you live, Potter," he asked, "during the summer?"

"In your mom's house," I said. "Ouch!" He punched me on my stomach hard enough to hurt. "I wasn't joking. I live in Grimmauld Place, Sirius's old house which he left for me after he died. It is the Black family's house. And your mother is from the Black family. So, I was serious when I said that."

"You seem to love your godfather so much."

"I do, but what makes you say that?" I asked.

"There is that look you have whenever you mention him. A very sad look, but also a happy one. Like you miss the days you spent with him but sad that they ended."

"Yeah…"

"I am sorry…"

"Don't be." I wiped tears that I didn't realize I had. "It's not your fault."

I stroked Malfoy's hair like I do when he wakes up shaken from a nightmare and needs someone to calm him down. I stopped when I realized that he wasn't having a nightmare right now, and there was no excuse for me to touch his hair.

"Don't stop." He said.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't stop ruffling my hair! I like it when you do that."

I continued ruffling his hair and trying to ignore the funny fluttery feeling in my stomach.

* * *

After having lunch at the Slytherin's table, I left Malfoy and returned back to Gryffindor Tower feeling very excited for no apparent reason.

"You look so happy, Harry," Hermione noted.

"What?" I came out of a trance when I heard Hermione talking to me, and it took me a long time to process what she had said.

"You're so not with us these days, mate," said Ron.

"Shut up, Ron," said Hermione smiling widely, "can't you tell he's in love?"

"WHAT?" Ron and I said at the same time. I might have shouted when I said it…

"Who's the lucky girl… or guy?" asked Hermione. Her tone made me feel as if she wanted to reach some point in this talk. I felt she was talking about Malfoy. Then again, if it wasn't Malfoy, then who?

"WHAT?" I asked again.

"What are you trying to say, Hermione?" asked Ron. "And what do you mean by 'or guy?'? You don't think that Harry is… you know… do you? Because of course he's not. Tell her, Harry. You're not… gay, are you?"

I suddenly forgot how to talk.

"Even if he was," said Hermione, "do you have any problem with that?" She asked Ron.

Ron swallowed, "Well, I don't know… But he's not. Of course he isn't. He was dating my sister! Tell her, Harry!"

"What?" I asked again for the third time.

Ron suddenly looked shocked. "Harry, you don't think you are gay, do you? You aren't, right?"

"I_ I need some air." I stormed out of the common room hearing Hermione shouting at Ron behind me.

I went the Transfiguration Courtyard and sat on a bench under the shadow of the one tree. I thought a lot about what Hermione said, and the more I thought the more true it became. I like Draco Malfoy. A lot. And that was not bloody alright! Because that means that I will never get what I want, because Malfoy will never feel the same towards me. I remembered the touch of his hand on mine, and the way his beautiful grey eyes looks at me from under his great blonde hair. Now I understand why I always had the instinct to check on him on the Marauders' Map, and why I always followed him; because I have a huge, dangerous, unhealthy crush on him. And yet, all I wanted to do is stay here, sitting on the bench and just think about him all day. Only when it got completely dark did I leave the Courtyard and go to the Great Hall for lunch.

"You're late," said Draco. I met him in the Entrance Hall. "Where were you? I was searching for you!"

"Why? Did you want something?" I asked.

"No. Just… Anyway, let's have dinner. I am starving."

"Can we please sit at our table this time? Please?"

"No, Potter. We're not sitting with the Gryffindors. I told you this a hundred times before."

"I am a Gryffindor!"

"You're different."

"And I always sit with the Slytherins. It is not fair."

"No, Potter. You don't sit with the Slytherins. You sit with_ me._"

"If we sat at the Gryffindor table, I'll still be with you."

And the argument went on for minutes until finally, and surprisingly, I convinced him to sit at the Gryffindor table, but only after I promised him that my friends won't be mean to him and "there is another condition," he said.

"What else?" I sighed.

'Promise me that you will sleep in my dorm for 2 days."

It was a surprising condition but I agreed anyway. "Fine, Malfoy, I promise that I will sleep with you_ I mean…" Oh sweet lord, why did I say that. It sounds so wrong.

"Is that a promise, Potter?" Draco smirked.

"_Shut up!_ You know what I mean!"

"I surely do…" He said. I wanted to kiss him so I can wipe the smirk off his face._ What did I just think about? Kissing him? Urgh this is just going too far._

"Hey, Harry," said Ron. His eyebrows went behind his hair when he saw who was standing behind me.

"We thought it'd be nice if we had dinner here this time," I said lamely to Ron and Hermione.

"No, Potter," said Malfoy. "YOU thought it'd be nice!"

"Silence, Malfoy," I gave him my best glare and he obeyed.

"Mmm, nice to meet you, Malfoy… I guess…" said Hermione.

Malfoy didn't answer. "And that's as modest as he gets," I told her.

We sat down beside each other, in front of Ron and Hermione. Our table was crowded, unlike the Slytherin's, so we had to stick to each other to give room for the others. As I ate, I tried hard not to think about the closeness of Malfoy's body to mine. It was as if my right side suddenly became extra sensitive.

It wasn't much a difference sitting here or there. We still ignored all the others and engaged in a conversation of our own. I noticed that Hermione was looking at us most of the time, but looked away whenever I looked at her questioningly.

"Harry," said Ron unsurely once we finished our plates. "I need to talk to you."

"Sure. What is it?"

"Alone."

"He's going to ask you out!" Malfoy whispered in my ear.

"Not funny, Malfoy!" I stood to leave, but Malfoy pulled me back in my seat.

"You're not leaving me alone with… Granger and the other_ Gryffin-dorks…_"

I sighed. "Ok! I will meet you in your common room."

"Okay, the password is _'Anilius'_"

"Harry?" Ron said.

"Coming, Ron… See you, Hermione." I left, and Malfoy bypassed me and went to the Common Room. Ron and I left the Great Hall behind him. We stopped at the Entrance Hall, and Ron sighed. I knew he is not liking whatever he's about to say. I was sure Hermione was forcing him to.

"Harry, mate… I just wanted to tell you that it's Ok with me if you are… gay._ There, I said it._" He let out a long breath.

"Sorry, what?"

"Oh, please don't make me say it again."

"No, I perfectly heard what you said. I just can't understand why you said that or what made you say that."

"It was Hermione." Ron admitted, nodding. "She made me say that."

"Why?"

"She thought you thought that I thought that I am not OK_"

"Wait, what?"

Ron sighed again. "I knew this was going to be difficult! Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I am OK with it. Honestly…"

"OK with what?" I asked angrily.

"You being gay."

"Who said I was gay?"

"So you're not?" Ron asked hopefully.

I didn't answer. I myself didn't know if I was completely bent or not. It is just so difficult. I spent my whole life thinking I was straight, and then Draco Malfoy comes and messes everything up. I stormed back into the Great Hall to where Hermione was sitting.

"You think I'm gay?" I asked. Maybe I was a bit loud, because I got several people's attention.

"Sorry, Harry… It's pretty obvious." She pressed her lips in a thin line.

"Obvious?" Many were watching us now with interest, but I didn't give a fuck.

"Harry, lower you voice, for god's sake, and stop being angry as if I am offending you or something. And yes, it is obvious. To me at least, since Ron was oblivious. Since the_ new version_ of Malfoy came into your life, you became attached to him. Past the limit, I must say. I saw the way you look at him. Your eyes jump with glee whenever he enters a room and a smile touches your face. You are always happy in his presence. I know you have feelings for him."

I stood silent for so long, then said something very stupid. "Really?"

She smiled and nodded.

"And what… what do you see in _his eyes?_" I cursed myself later for being such a… _Hufflepuff._

"I see nothing in them and no one, but you. You are the only thing that fills his eyes, everything else is nothing."

I swallowed hard, and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I hoped Hermione was right, which seemed so unlikely. Malfoy couldn't be… No, that's absurd! This is not right. But I just hope…

I gave her a weak smile and left. I was surprised to see Ron behind me. I had forgotten that he was there. I walked past him and went to the Dungeons.

When I entered Malfoy's dorm, I found him floo-calling his mother.

"Get in, Potter," he said.

"I can come later. I'll give you some privacy…"

"No," he insisted. "Get in."

I closed the door and sat on the bed I usually used when I got here. I tried not to listen what they were talking about, but I can't shut my ears, can I? They were talking about the Lucius's trial, the Ministry, lawyers, stuff like that and_ me..._ I felt like I am overhearing, while it was Malfoy who invited me in.

"I love you, too," said Malfoy, and it felt weird hearing him saying that. For some reason, I thought his conversations with his mother would be all formal, something that fits with his character, but I was wrong. "Bye, Mum."

He sighed, and came to lie on the bed I was sitting on. He took a habit of resting his head on my lap, and it didn't fail to make me blush, like, every time.

"Stroke my hair, Potter."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Come on. I love when you do that."

I obliged after adding, "I love when I do it too."

He smiled and looked at me, and here he was… looking all cute and adorable. I knew I was blushing, but I didn't care.

"Mom thinks that I must stay away from you," Malfoy said. "She says that you are the reason of all the trouble."

"Perhaps she is right. Maybe you should listen to her." I shrugged.

"I can't…" He smiled and I smiled back. "Tomorrow is the day of the hearing. Our lawyer agreed to take the case, but there were some conflicts between him and Mom about the money…"

I listened to Malfoy as he repeated what I have already heard, and ruffled his soft hair back and forth, feeling it between my fingers.

"I hope your dad gets out of it," I said.

"Thanks, Harry."

I stopped.

"Why did you stop?" Malfoy groaned.

"You did it again!" I exclaimed.

"Did what?"

"Call me by my name. My first name!"

"Well it's yours, isn't it? It is still your name."

"Yes, but you never do it. You always call me _'Potter'_" I mocked the way he usually says this word.

He smiled widely.

"Say it again." I said.

"Say what?"

"My name!"

"Potter!"

I slapped him playfully. "_My first name!"_

It was his turn to blush. "_…Harry._ But don't get used to it!" He warned me quickly.

And isn't this the cutest thing ever? My name coming from his lips sounded like the best name in the world. It wasn't the first time he called me by my first name, but the first time he did it, he was kind of drunk. So that doesn't count.

It took me so long to realize that Malfoy had dozed off on my lap.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: I come out of Narnia, which is so deep in the closet

Gryffindor defeated Hufflepuff easily. I caught the snitch in the first five minutes giving my teammates no chance to play.

Before Madame Hooch can even blow the end-of-match whistle, I was surrounded by the whole team and started receiving and giving hugs and high-fives.

"Bloody hell, Harry," said Ron happily. "Give us a chance to prove ourselves!"

"Come on, guys," shouted Ginny. "Time to party!"

The team cheered and rushed to the changing rooms.

I didn't bother even going to the party, so I ignored everyone's protests when they begged me to go, and left, wandering through the castle's corridors not knowing exactly where I was going. Only when I got outside to the grounds did I notice that I have been looking for Draco without realizing that, and I was hoping to find him where we usually met. He wasn't there, so I returned back indoors, and went to the Dungeons. I didn't have my Invisibility Cloak with me, but I said the password and entered the Slytherins' Common Room anyway. What looked like a third year Slytherin boy looked at me with disgust but he didn't dare ask why I was here after I gave him my best glare. I asked him, "Where's Malfoy?"

He didn't answer, but before I can repeat my question, a girl said "in his dormitory."

I ignored the mutterings between them, and went to Draco's dormitory.

He was sitting on his bed looking bored. He didn't look at me when I entered.

"Hey, Malfoy," I said.

"Hey…" His tone alarmed me. He seemed upset about something.

"Something wrong?"

He didn't answer.

"Malfoy, are you OK?" I asked.

"It's nothing of your concern!"

"Why are you acting like that?"

"Maybe because you were ignoring me all day and only now did you remember me! You didn't even ask what happened in my father's trial!"

Oh, God… I forgot all about that. I felt so guilty that I forgot him. "I am so sorry, Malfoy. I for_"

"Forgot? Yeah, I kinda figured that."

I went to sit beside him on the bed, and wrapped my arms around him. He shoved me away weakly, but I thought he only wanted me to try harder. I took him into my arms tightly ignoring his halfhearted protests. "I am so sorry, Malfoy. Quidditch distracted me."

"I hate being ignored."

"I know," I said. "I promise to never ignore you again. OK?"

"How did the hearing go?" I asked

"He was sentenced to two years."

"I am sorry_"

"No, that's good. I thought he would take ten years at the very least. Mum sounded so happy when she told me the news."

"If so then, congratulations..." His smile made my heart skip a beat. This boy was really making me crazy. With a smile, he can make me suddenly happy. Was that a spell? If so, then it is the best magic that has ever been done since Merlin himself.

"Listen, Malfoy, there is a party in our Common Room…"

"If you want to go, it's OK." He assured me.

"No. I want you to come with me."

"No."

"Why not?"

"You know why."

"Please! Do this for me."

"Harry, for the last time, I won't step inside your common room. I don't want to be in a place where I don't belong."

I sighed.

"It's OK. You go."

I nodded. "OK. See you later."

Malfoy looked disappointed, as if he expected me to stay with him, but he didn't say anything.

I climbed back to the seventh floor then descended them and returned back to the Dungeons carrying with me some drinks and food from the party. When I entered Malfoy's room, he looked as if he didn't move at all.

"You came back!" He said happily.

"I thought… If Malfoy doesn't want to come to the party, then the party must go to him."

He chuckled.

"Here, I brought you a bottle of Blishen's Firewhisky to celebrate this good news about your father." I conjured two glasses out of thin air, and poured some Firewhisky for Malfoy and me.

"A toast to the House of Malfoy!" I said and Malfoy echoed me with a chuckle.

I sipped my drink and felt its burning sensation as if there were flames in my stomach. I vowed not to have another drink to avoid getting drunk, but apparently Malfoy thought otherwise.

"Enough drinking," I warned him.

"Don't worry. I don't get drunk easily."

_Oh, really?_ I knew I shouldn't have trusted him on this, but I did anyway…

"Harry…" Malfoy whispered when he laid his head on my lap as he usually did.

"Yes, Malfoy?"

"Ruffle my hair."

I chuckled and did as Malfoy wanted.

"I watched you playing today," he said, "you know? You were fantastic!"

"Well, thanks for the compliment."

"You really know how to sit on a broom…"

Whatever that means, I let it go.

He reached out his hand and cupped it around my cheek. I melted at the touch of his hand and suddenly forgot how to breathe. _I don't get drunk easily,_ he said… Well, obviously he's drunk now. He took my spectacles off. "Your eyes are so green."

My mouth felt so dry. Even if I was capable of speaking, I didn't know what to say. "Malfoy, you're drunk."

"No." He still didn't let go of my cheek. "I am perfectly sober."

His hand moved to clutch my hair. "So soft…" he said. "Harry, you're so beautiful…" He raised his head until it became so close to mine. I can smell the alcohol in his breath. He got closer and closer and _OH GOD! HE MEANS TO KISS ME! Oh, God, God, God…_

I panicked. I pushed him and got away from his bed ignoring his protests. Then left the dorm and ran back to the common room with my heart hammering against my ribcage. I ignored my friends and teammate's questions and raised eyebrows, and went to my dormitory and locked the door after me. I didn't know what possessed Malfoy to do this. He must be very_ very_ drunk.

I calmed down after a couple of minutes and repeated what happened again in my mind. I recalled what he said. Oh gosh… _'So beautiful'_, he said.

_Malfoy thinks I am beautiful!_

My skin burned from where he touched me… After thinking about the almost-kiss for about an hour, I suddenly thought foolishly, _why didn't I let him?_ But I knew I did the right thing. Malfoy was drunk. He didn't know what he was doing. I couldn't have taken advantage of his state, especially because I was sober and he wasn't. Yes, I did the right thing.

The problem now is that I won't be able to look into his eyes without remembering what he said and what he'd done. Things won't be the same after today. Another problem was that I was hard now, and that was disturbing because I never knew that one could get hard from an almost-kiss. But I could take care of that… After I wanked at thoughts of a naked Draco Malfoy in my bed, I casted cleaning charms and went to sleep.

* * *

Despite sleeping very late last night, I woke up early before everyone else… except for Hermione the early-riser, of course. When I went to the common room, she was surrounded by a pile of books that were scattered everywhere on the floor. "Morning, Hermione," I groaned sleepily.

"Good morning," she said, still not taking her eyes off a book she had in her hand. "Not a habit of yours, waking up early…"

"Bad night and terrible sleep," I said.

"You still didn't tell me what happened yesterday."

"Nothing, Hermione, really…"

"You didn't attend the party, disappeared for nearly an hour, came from outside panting like you were running for your life, and locked yourself up in your room! Is that something you do every day? Come on, tell me what happened! I am not like Ron, you know. I can listen and understand…"

I said nothing.

"Was it Malfoy?"

"Honestly, Hermione, have you been studying Legimency recently?"

"So I have guessed right then?" She smiled. I could tell she got interested, because she closed her book and came to sit beside me on the couch. "Go on… Tell me everything! Is there anything new between you two? Did he, you know, make a move?"

I blushed and turned my head away. "He tried…"

"And?"

"And I pushed him and ran for it," I said casually.

"Oh, dear… Why?"

"Why what? He was drunk and didn't know what he was doing! Even if he wasn't, my reaction would've still stayed the same." Well, I have to admit to myself that this last part is a lie.

"How could you say that? He wants you, and you want him, so why don't you both _get on with it!_"

"How could you tell if he _wants_ me or not, when I myself can't tell if I want him or not? Maybe I only like him as a friend, nothing more?" I sounded a little bit hopeful, wanting my feelings to be delusional and return to being the person I've known, the straight me who wasn't attracted to, but pissed off by, Draco Malfoy. I was afraid from the change.

Hermione cupped my jaw and turned my head to face her. I was forced to look into her eyes now, as if this conversation wasn't already embarrassing enough.

"We both know that's not true," she said simply. "Why are you trying to deny that you are attracted to Malfoy?"

"I don't know," I sighed and laid my head on her lap, taking a leaf from Malfoy's book. "It is just too difficult to admit to myself that I am, you know, _gay_… If I admit being attracted to him, then that's it, I'll be officially gay. I won't get used to it this easily."

"I am sorry to burst your bubble, Harry, but this isn't news to me. I think you were always gay, but you just didn't realize you were."

I looked up at her sternly. "You are joking! You got to be kidding me. I_ I was always gay? How could you say that? I snogged Cho! I had sex with Ginny! I_ I never looked at a boy in that way! Well… until Draco came into my life of course." _Oh__ Merlin, I think of him as Draco now? Not Malfoy?_

Hermione laughed as if she was keeping this for too long and got out of control. "It was always Draco, wasn't it? Since the first time you saw each other, and you're stalking each other_"

"_Stalking?_ We were fighting each other! I wanted to kill him and he wanted to kill me. And the only thing that stopped him was that he was forbidden from doing it by instructions from his previous master!" As I said those words, I realized how much Draco changed in these past months. I couldn't believe that the one I am talking about right now is the same person who called me _'beautiful'_.

"Remind me again, why were you following Malfoy during our sixth year? You were stalking him for the _whole year_, and you never realized it!"

"I was only curious about why he was disappearing off the map, and I was right in the end! He was up to something! He was the reason Dumbledore died!"

"Oh, please, Harry. Don't start again. We perfectly know the truth behind Dumbledore's death. Even if Malfoy didn't let the Death Eaters in, Dumbledore would still have died! And please don't change the topic. Now, you said 'he wanted to kill me, and I wanted to kill him', right? But that's not true! What happened when you cursed him with Sectumsempra?"

I swallowed. "I screamed for help until Professor Snape came and took him to the Hospital Wing… But that was only because I panicked! The blood was everywhere, and knowing that_ I_ did this drove me mad!"

"Still doesn't sound like you wished him killed. And what happened after Professor Snape rescued him?"

"Nothing!"

"No! You came to us crying like a baby. And what did you do _this year_ when he jumped off the Astronomy Tower?"

"I saved him and took him to the Hospital Wing."

"See? You don't actually hate him. You never d_"

"Yes, thank you, Hermione. You proved your point. I never hated Malfoy. Well that's great, because he obviously hates me! Well, not now maybe, but he did. And I acted all Hufflepuff for him until he stopped being a git. And remembering that now, it feels so… humiliating…"

"No, you didn't. You were being good. He would've killed himself again if you didn't_"

"But that still doesn't make me feel any better, Hermione!"

She stroked my head to calm me down. "As I was telling you before we started talking about Malfoy, it's not news to me. You were always_"

"Yeah, gay. I've got it! And still not helping…"

"If you could just let me complete my sentences… Look, it's not a bad thing at all_"

"I didn't say it was!"

"Harry, please!"

"Sorry, go on…"

"If you only think about it, you'll know I am right. You say you snogged Cho, but how did it go? Did you like it?"

"Of course I did! Any lips on mine will be great!"  
"No, really? When I asked you about it, all you said was 'wet'! That doesn't sound like you liked it."

"Because she was all crying_"

"No! Because she was a girl, that's why. And Ginny! You were her boyfriend for months, and I can tell that these weren't your favourite days of your life. Were you happy with Ginny? Honestly?"

"There were some problems… But so what! All couples have problems. Don't tell me you and Ron don't fight every day and the other."

"What I meant was: where you happy she was your girlfriend? Was the… _sex_ great?"

"We were inexperienced and young."

"So it wasn't. And no! It wasn't because of that. It was because she was a girl! And if you think hard, whenever there was a hot girl around, like Fleur for example, you never lay an eye or two on her. You weren't as interested in the Veela at the Quidditch World Cup as the other straight boys were. So, I think it's clear now… You just never realized you're gay until the new Malfoy came and triggered those emotions for you. And I can tell, after you broke up with Ginny and started being_ friendly_ to Malfoy, you became a lot better. It is obvious that you look happier. You look more alive and energetic, especially after the depression you had after the war... Tell me if I am wrong, but when you are alone with him, do you feel like_"

"Like I am the happiest man alive… Like my life is complete. Like I have everything that I'll ever want there in front of me… Yeah…" I nodded.

She smiled and patted my head. "See?"

"But that doesn't mean that he feels this too. He doesn't show many emotions. Although, I have to admit, sometimes I see something in his eyes. Like when I call him, he gets happy then suddenly his face turns cold. I don't understand him at all."

"Malfoy is so different from you, Harry. He won't let emotions betray him. He might play it cool and everything, but from the inside, he's exploding with feelings! And you told me he made a move and you stopped him, so he must also be attracted to you. The only problem is that you stopped him, fool. Now he probably thinks that you don't like him in this way."

"He was drunk, Hermione. Drunk!"

"Most people show their true selves when they are half-conscious."

"So what do you suggest I do now?"

"I don't know…"

"Seriously? You know things about me that I myself don't, and now you stopped knowing? You have to help me."

"No, I don't_ have_ to, but I will, just because we are friends."

"If you suggest anything stupid like asking him out or something like that, then I am telling you now: don't. Remember, we are talking about _Malfoy._"

"I'll think about your problem, Harry, and when I reach a solution, I'll let you know."

I sighed. "Thanks, Hermione. You're the best!"

She patted my head again, and I laughed. "What's so funny?"

"Ron's face if he saw us right now."

She chuckled. "Don't worry. He knows you're not interested in women, and specifically not in me."

"Is he really OK with it?"

"He was disturbed at the beginning, like he was afraid you'll have wet dreams about him or something." We both laughed. "But then, he started to realize that you have eyes for Malfoy only."

"And didn't that disturb him more?"

"Nah, he is totally OK with it right now. Honestly."

"Good." I didn't realize until now how much I was worrying about my friends' opinions. Suddenly, coming out didn't seem so difficult. Hermione did the entire job for me; I only let her lead me to the final conclusion. Bless her; she is always a saviour…

"Lucius got two years in Azkaban. Draco is happy, though. He thought it would be worse."

"That is good, I suppose. The problem is that the Malfoys aren't the only ones treated this way. Kingsley must diminish the heavy punishments he's forcing on ex-Death Eaters and their families. It's getting over! He just won't listen to us!"

"Thank God he did me that favor in the first place. He would have every right and the full authority to deny me what I asked from him."

"Yeah… I suppose so. Now, I have to finish my research, if you don't mind," she said.

"OK."

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Your head!"

"Oh, yeah… Sorry…" I stood up preparing to leave for classes when I remembered that it is Saturday. Good. I can spend the whole day sleeping then. I returned to my bed which felt so inviting now that I had most of my mind troubles solved, thanks to Hermione…

* * *

"Harry, wake up! Come on! Don't waste the whole weekend sleeping!" I heard Ron opening the bed curtains and prepared to be hit by sunlight on my tightly closed eyelids. But that didn't happen. Oh god, have I slept until the evening?

"Ron," said my sleepy voice, which was so not-me. "I sometimes do sleep naked, you know? Don't open the curtains while I am sleeping!"

"Oh, come on. I have seen you naked many times already. It's not like a delightful sight for me to watch… Come on, Harry. It's getting boring without you."

"Alright, alright. I am getting up now." I was lying of course.

"Malfoy asked about you," said Ron.

"REALLY?" I was wide awake now and out of bed.

He laughed. "No, but I guessed that would do it. See? Now you're up."

"I'll get you for this! I will never forget it." I felt so angry.

He chuckled. "Come on! We're playing cards. And by 'we', I mean Hermione, Luna, Neville, Ginny, Terry, Ernie, and me."

"Who let the Ravenclaws and the Hufflepuffs in?"

"We did," said Ron simply.

"Mmm…"

"I know what you're thinking. And no! Please don't bring Malfoy_"

"I wasn't thinking of that. Even if I asked him, he won't agree to come."

"Good…" Ron muttered. I ignored him.

* * *

"Where were you all day?" I asked Draco once I finally found him sitting alone on a bench in the Transfiguration Courtyard. "I've been searching for you for hours!"

"And how did you find me?" He asked without looking up at me.

I took the Marauders' Map out of my pocket.

"Oh, yes. The map. I forgot about that…" Draco sounded strange, as if he wasn't happy that I found him. He was still staring at the ground and didn't look at me at all.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Potter."

"What happened to_ 'Harry'_?"

"I told you to not get used to it."

I kneeled down in front of him to force him to look into my eyes. I grasped his shoulders and said "Did something happen? Is it something about your mother? Is she alright? Come on, tell me! We've known each other long enough. You can trust_."

"My mother is fine."

"Then what?"

"Potter, who paid the lawyer's salary?"

I swallowed. "What do you mean?"

"At first, he didn't agree with the money we offered to him. Then, all of a sudden, he changed his mind. You paid him the extra money he wanted, didn't you?"

It was true. I dealt with the lawyer and promised to give him the money he wanted if he agreed to take Lucius's case. When he agreed, I told Mr. Weasley to transfer 300 Galleons from my account at Gringotts to the lawyer's. I didn't want Draco to know about that, because I knew that he won't accept it. But I had to do it. "How long have you known this?" I asked.

"I always knew!"

"Then why would you confront me now?"

"I will return every Galleon you paid, Potter, very soon. We just don't have the whole amount right now, but I'll return_"

"Why are you saying this? If I wanted the money I wouldn't have given it away in the first place!"

"BECAUSE WE DON'T ACCEPT MONEY FROM YOU, POTTER! We're not beggars, OK? Thank you very much!"

"Malfoy, why are you saying this now?" As soon as I said that, I remembered what Hermione told me this morning: _'The only problem is that you stopped him, fool. Now, he probably thinks that you don't like him in this way.'_ I got it! Malfoy remembers what happened last night. He is either so mad at me because I pushed him away, or at himself for being in a weak situation. He's so mad that he's trying to find another excuse to be mad at me about. Of course he must be mad! He thinks that I have rejected him for the second time.

So Hermione was right again, as always. And once that was settled, my confusion turned into excitement. My heart was bouncing happily knowing that Malfoy would've tried to kiss me even if he wasn't drunk. Now, I'll just pretend that I figured out nothing and see how far he will go playing mad.

"Because I want to! I do what the fuck I want! Have you got a problem with that?"

"No," I said, fighting a smile.

"And I hate you, by the way. Don't think that have changed or anything. I hate your stupid scarred face and your stupid hair!"

"Anything else?" I asked, now smiling.

"Yes. I hate your stupid eyes too. I hate everything about you. You're so annoying you think _Oh, I am Harry Potter; I am so famous and everybody loves me._ But guess what? I don't_"

I couldn't hold myself anymore. I pulled him from his collar and kissed him fully on the mouth. I can see the shock on his face, but he didn't step away, and neither did I. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the kiss, ignoring the part of me that screamed OH MY GOD, I AM KISSING DRACO MALFOY!

I pressed my lips harder on his until he responded. I felt him melting in my arms and I leaned more into him. There was a loud bang that sounded like we fell from the bench and onto the ground, but I didn't care. We didn't care, and now we were grasping and holding each other tightly, snogging madly as if our lives depended on this moment. I deepened the kiss further and felt Malfoy shudder beneath me. I took advantage of his slightly opened mouth to slip my tongue in, and once our tongues touched, I felt the blood rushing in my lions. Malfoy was clutching my hair with one hand and the other was under my shirt caressing the skin of my back.

It was the need of oxygen for survival that broke us apart. I looked at the cute face under me and smiled widely. "What else do you hate about me?"

He smiled. "Not having your lips on mine."

"God, I've been waiting for this moment for so long," I confessed.

"Then why did you push me away last night?"

"Because you were drunk, moron, and I didn't want you to do something foolish and give me high hopes, then regret it in the morning."

He smiled. "That explains a lot. I thought you didn't want me to, but I think I was wrong, judging by _this._" He rubbed his crotch on mine and I was relieved yet also embarrassed to know that I wasn't the only one with a boner.

"Shut up." I felt my face burning when I started processing the situation we were both in, and the fact that we were on the ground with me lying on him didn't help at all.

"God," he said. "I love it when you blush." I gave him a brief kiss to shut him up then stepped away from him. I had to loosen my – thankfully long – shirt to hide my obvious erection, although he already knows about my current situation. I gave him a hand to pull him off the grass.

"Oh lord," he groaned, "there is grass in my hair! Eww!" He started shaking his hair and clothes to get the clippings off them. "Next time, I am on top; you on the ground."

_On top? Oh, God!_

"Oh," he frowned. "You know what I mean..."

I chuckled. "So you're not mad at me now?"

"Um, no," he smirked. "You apologized in the right way. I forgive you."

"Thanks!" I hugged him tightly then gave him a peck on the cheek. He blushed.

We went to the Great Hall for dinner holding hands, while I kept repeating those last minutes in my mind. It was still hard to process that_ I kissed Draco Malfoy and I bloody liked it!_ I had no idea what will happen next or what is the course of _this relationship_ now, but I knew one thing for certain: that this is the happiest I've ever felt since the war, or maybe since I was born.

* * *

AN: R&R please?


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Things escalated quickly

"Harry," said Hermione once I entered through the Fat Lady's portrait hole. "Um, about what we talked earlier today… Well, I think I know what you should_" She saw the smile on my blushing face. "Oh, I guess you already knew what to do…" She winked. "But come on… tell me EVERYTHING!"

"Um, Hermione, this is rather private, you know." I can't keep my eyes on her without getting redder.

"He _kissed _you?" She asked excitedly.

"Well, I did it."

Her jaw dropped. "Oh my stars, I never thought that _you _would be the one to make the first move!"

"And why is that then?"

"Oh, you know I meant no offence. It's just, when I pictured it in my mind it was Malfoy who made the first move. He just seems more dominant. No offence but you got admit it."

"Seems like you spend so much time thinking about this..."

"Because I am always worried about you, idiot. But now, it seems like you've finally known what you want and what you should do. I am so happy for you, Harry." She pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Thanks, Hermione. Without your help, I'd still be in denial."

"Mmm, Harry. I want to talk you about something else too. Ginny has been complaining to me lately that you're ignoring her completely."

"Yes I am."

"But, Harry, she's your friend! Even if you broke up with her, she's still your friend."

"She cheated on me!" Ok, that was an exaggeration, but she was the guilty one anyway…

"Don't be ridiculous! That isn't cheating. Besides, she thought the relationship was already over."

"Oh, really? Very good excuse!"

"Well, you didn't see her all summer."

"I was trying to give her time to recover from her brother's death! And we didn't have a proper break-up, so how did she think that we broke up?"

"You broke up on the day of Dumbledore's funeral. I perfectly remember that."

"But we got along very good after that when I stayed at the Burrows before leaving for the Horcrux Hunt."

"But that doesn't mean that you returned back to being boyfriend and girlfriend. Look, I am neither blaming you nor her, and I am not trying to get you back together, obviously, given what I've done to help you with your Malfoy-problems. But at least, you have to stay friends with her. For the sake of all the years we've lived together."

"OK, I'll give it a try…"

She didn't look convinced.

"Honestly…" I assured her.

"I hope you keep your word. She doesn't deserve this, you know. She has been in a terrible mood recently."

I wanted to say 'Good', but Hermione won't forgive me for that.

* * *

The next morning at breakfast, I tried to be friendly with Ginny. I sat beside her and apologized for freaking out when I saw her making out with Dean.

"Harry, that was months ago." But she looked like she's been waiting so long for me to apologize.

I saw Draco entering the Hall and searching for me. Once our eyes met, he gave me a questioning look. I didn't know if he was wondering why I'm sitting at the Gryffindor Table or why I'm sitting beside Ginny, so I just gave him an apologetic look and stayed where I was.

Ginny continued talking and babbling about many things, and I was just like 'Mmm, yeah, great… I know… Yeah…' I was startled when I was shoved away from her by strong hands and felt someone sitting between us. "Malfoy?" I asked, not quite believing my eyes. What made him suddenly break his rule of '_not sitting with the Gryffindors_?' His face was flushed from anger, and I had no idea why. He cupped my jaw and kissed me on the lips, not caring that the whole table – or maybe the hall – was watching. I heard whistles and disgusted sounds too. I was speechless. Everyone's eyes were on us. Despite being so embarrassed, the stunned looks on Ginny and Ron's faces were hilarious. I barely fought a laugh.

I thought that Malfoy must have pinched Ginny on the leg or something, because she left this side of the table and went to sit beside Hermione, who looked like she too was fighting a strong urge to laugh.

"Malfoy!" I said with a very shocked voice. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, Harry. Just missed you, so I thought it'd be lovely to have breakfast with you. Did you finish?"

Before I could say 'No', he said "Good, because I need to talk to you." He grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the hall.

"What the bloody fuck are you doing, Malfoy?"

Once we got out of the Great Hall and into an empty corridor, he pushed me hard against a wall… again. "HOW DARE SHE SIT BESIDE YOU?" He shouted loudly. "And why didn't you wait for me for breakfast? Why did you sit at the Gryffindor Table? WHY WERE YOU TALKING TOHER?"

"Malfoy are you mad? What's going on?"

He surprised me even further when he pinned my hands over my head against the wall and kissed me hard with tongue and all. I had no choice but to melt under his charm and devour his sweet lips.

"Sorry…" He said once our lips parted. "I over-reacted."

"Yes you did," I said. "But why? Oh, Merlin!" I started to realize why Draco was acting so weird... "Malfoy!" I said disbelievingly. "You are jealous!"

He tried to give me a look that would tell me that I am wrong, but failed. "Well, duh! I know she's all over you. And you ignored me and sat with her! And talked **to** her! What did you expect me to do?"

"Ginny is only_"

"Why do you call her Ginny?"

"_What?"__  
_"Her name is Ginevra. Calling her 'Ginny' makes her special to you."

I laughed. "_Malfoy… _You did this all because you were jealous of Ginny?"

He nodded.

"But you know I don't like her anymore. I was just trying to be friendly to her, because Hermione thought that I was ignoring her. She wanted me to assure Ginny that we're still friends. _Just friends, _Malfoy. And Ginny isn't all over me. She is dating Dean Thomas. If you could just have let me explain, there would be no need for all of this." I chuckled. "But I have to admit that this way is _cuter_. Seriously? Jealous, Malfoy?"

He blushed and I pulled him forward for another bruising kiss. Soon, Malfoy returned back being the dominant one, pinning me hard to the wall and devouring my mouth. I started to get turned on when I felt Malfoy's hard cock poking my groin. He pulled my waist and rubbed our erections together. I was so breathless and overwhelmed with lust. Once our lips parted for oxygen, Malfoy said, "We have to… do this… more often."

I took a few seconds to catch my breath before replying. "Good thinking! When?"

"Today. Eight in the evening. My dormitory."

I made a sound that might have been a giggle. "Sounds nice!"

I gave him a quick final kiss and left with a smile from the ear to the ear.

* * *

I was lying atop him, clutching his hair with one hand while the other was under his shirt. His hands, however, were in a more dangerous position. They were cupping my arse cheeks from under my pants. His tongue was also doing its own magic, reaching regions in my mouth that I never even knew existed. I was overwhelmed with lust and strong desire. I didn't hesitate to unbutton his shirt and pinch his nipples erect, earning a moan that vibrated in my mouth. In return, he unfastened my belt and somehow managed to pull my trousers off without our lips breaking contact. I could feel his hard member beneath me and I pushed my groin on his, grinding our hard cocks together. He slipped his hands under my pants once again and _squeezed_, before pulling the pants down too. He was now touching me and _Oh lord, _it felt brilliant! I knew I won't last long, but I refused to come undone before him, so I started unzipping his trousers, and without taking them off, I pulled his hard cock out of the fly. I tried not to scream out _I AM HOLDING MALFOY'S COCK WITH MY BARE HANDS! _His mouth moved downward and started kissing my throat, and so I could properly hear his moans – and to be fair, mine too – as we stroked each other's cocks. I came first without a warning, spilling my seed on his bare torso. He followed me, fighting a scream by biting my throat then healing it with his tongue, as he came explosively in my hand. The sexual tension that was accumulated for years was in one moment discharged.

I collapsed on him, panting and feeling sticky with sweat and cum. For moments, we stayed silent, in which I was processing what had just happened. I couldn't believe how quickly this _thing _between us was going on. It scared me a bit, but I felt great. It was hot! I was never turned on like that before. I let out a long breath and hugged Malfoy's bare body.

"That was… I can't find a proper word to describe it. I can't believe we actually did this!" He laughed. "If someone had told me five months ago that Harry Potter will one day give me a hand job and I will like it, I'd have killed them and their whole family."

"Regrets?"

"Not at all, Harry."

And for this '_Harry_', I awarded him with my best devouring kiss I can give. We could have stayed snogging the whole night, till we became hard and came again a million times, but our sticky bodies started to make us uncomfortable. So I casted cleaning charms on both of us, and quickly dressed, suddenly feeling very exposed. Malfoy was smiling, and I knew it was because I was blushing hard. I noticed he was still half nude, and only then did I have the chance to properly see Malfoy's glorious package. I felt myself getting hard again as I watched Malfoy putting his soft cock back into his pants and zipping his trousers.

"Stay with me for the night," he pleaded.

"At your service!" I tiptoed to the bed I usually use when I spend the night here, but Malfoy grabbed my arm to stop me. "No, I meant, with me _here _on the bed. My bed."

I swallowed. He smiled widely and moved away to give me some room, and I gave in. I curled under the cover beside him. His face hovered above mine then leaned down to give me a kiss. "Good night, my Harry." My heart may have stopped for a moment.

_My Harry…_

* * *

When I woke up, it took me so long to remember why I am smiling foolishly and feeling so happy. Malfoy's arms and legs were wrapped around my body; he was spooning me protectively as we were sleeping on his bed, with our clothes on. Somehow it seemed difficult to accept that last night was real and not just the most erotic wet dream. Just a month ago, Malfoy was _barely _a friend of mine. Now he is my boyfriend?

"Good morning, Harry," Malfoy's voice whispered in my ears.

"Oh, you're awake?"

"_Duh!_" He chuckled then kissed my neck and said "you might need to wear roll-neck sweaters to hide those possessive marks I've left on your neck last night." His face hovered over mine to look at me in the eye.

"I am not afraid to show it," I smirked.

"Good." He kissed me passionately then stood up and pulled me off the bed. "Come on. We can't stay here all day. We have classes to attend."

"I hate Mondays," I groaned.

"Who doesn't?"

* * *

Today at breakfast, Malfoy was about to kill me when I suggested sitting at the Gryffindor Table again. I gave up and sat beside him, like I always do. I can feel Hermione's looks directed on me from across the hall, which was irritating because this wasn't the first time I sit with Malfoy, so why was she smirking and winking at me? Blimey, are we that obvious? It was as if she knew everything what happened between us last night.

"Malfoy," I said after we finished our plates. "We need to talk…"

"I hate those words! Talk about what?"

"About _this_…" I said, pointing a finger between him and me.

"_This_ what?"

"This _relationship _or whatever that is between you and me."

He frowned but nodded. "Fine. Let's talk."

"Not here, of course!"

"OK. Meet me after dinner, down beside the lake."

"Okay. In the meantime, we'll think of what do we _really _want."

And so we met in our usual meeting place. Malfoy was already there waiting for me when I got there.

"Hey!" He said once he saw me coming then took me in his arms and kissed me.

"Thanks," I said, feeling a blush burn on my face. "So… where do we begin?"

"I want you!" He said suddenly. It took me moments to realize what he said.

"_What?" _I asked once I was able to talk.

"I thought about it all day, and finally decided that I want _you_, Harry. I want to be with you."

"Listen, Malfoy, we can't rush like that. We have to take everything slowly. A month ago we were barely friends. And now you say you want… I don't know… We are here to talk. Calmly and reasonably."

"I meant every word I said to you."

"Malfoy, I've been wondering if you're… um… attracted to me only because I am the only one you know well? Don't get me wrong, but if it was a normal year at Hogwarts and you were with your friends and everything was great for you, would you still have said that to me?"

Malfoy stayed silent for moments, looking all thoughtful. Then he repeated "I meant every word I said to you. I want you. And no, it's not like what you think. Even if I had other people to share company with, and I had seen the real you, not the person I thought you were, I would've said the same. I don't want you only because I have no one but you, no. I want you because that's how my heart feels. I want to be with you every day. I want to kiss you senseless every time I see you. I want us to be like… you know… boyfriends!"

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. My heart danced with joy when Malfoy said that last sentence.

"What about you, Harry? You know, sometimes I don't know what's going on your mind. Sometimes I can't read your face, and that's saying something because you always wear your emotions on your sleeve. But now…"

"I know. I am just so confused. Things escalated quickly for me. First, I discovered that I am gay, and not just that, but that I was _always_ gay and I didn't realize it. Then I became confused about my true feelings toward you, but now I am pretty sure that you are more than a friend to me."

"It's good to know that." Malfoy smiled openly and leaned down to kiss me. Within moments, we were on the ground with him lying on me. I was grabbing his soft hair tightly and kissing the hell out of him. He brushed his tongue on my lips seeking permission in and instantly sending a jolt straight to my cock. Our tongues were battling, and with every stroke of his tongue on mine, I can feel myself getting harder and harder. He moved his hips to rub our crotches together, and it felt too damn good! I moved my hands from his head and down to cup his so round buttocks. I was so turned on that if we'd stayed like that for a couple of minutes more, I would have reached orgasm with him only rubbing our erections together. I managed to unfasten Draco's tight trousers to free his trapped cock without our lips parting. I could feel Malfoy's hand unbuttoning my shirt slowly then his cold hand touched my bare chest and pinched my nipples. I have to admit that I was making inappropriate sounds that were thankfully trapped in Draco's mouth, but not for long because his mouth started moving down, kissing and nipping the skin of my neck. He shifted downward and soon his arse was out of reach, so I tugged at his hair instead. I moaned some unintelligible words when I felt his mouth sucking on my nipple and his tongue doing some wonderful job there. His tongue traveled downwards licking all the way from my chest till my navel.

"Malfoy…" I managed to say between moans, "what if someone sees us?" We weren't exactly in a private place. It was unlikely that we'd be seen, though, except if anyone suddenly wanted to take a walk beside the lake shore, exactly at the same location we were.

"I don't care!" He said and resumed giving kisses on the area under the navel, which I never thought would be that sensitive. His hands were busy taking my trousers off completely, and so were mine, pulling his shirt over. Soon, we were both with nothing but our pants. Draco stopped when his head was directly above my crotch then looked up at me smirking and I could feel my face burning. He used two fingers to drag my pants slowly downward and finally free my very hard cock. He looked at me again smiling, and I blushed redder feeling very exposed. I felt him slowly grasping my length and stroking. And – _Oh, God – _with one sudden lick of his tongue on my dickhead, I nearly came. He took my cock slowly into his mouth, and I moaned like a girl. Slowly, my whole cock was inside his warm mouth and it felt amazing. His hands pinned my hips to the ground to stop them from thrusting in his mouth. He started sucking, getting faster and faster every second, as I moaned louder and louder. His brilliant tongue was doing amazing things that made me wonder where Draco had learned about it. His hands were cupping my balls and I felt it coming. I was about to reach my orgasm. I pulled him from his hair to warn him, but he only sucked harder and took me deeper in his throat until I felt his nose touching my groin. And here it came. I came so hard in Draco's throat until I saw stars. Malfoy continued swallowing and sucking until I was boneless. I was panting hard trying to get back to consciousness. "That was…" I finally said once I was able to talk again, "the most brilliant thing that ever happened to me!"

Malfoy sat up and smiled. "Yeah?"

I was surprised to know that I still had enough energy to throw myself on him. "Thanks," I said and kissed him.

"Like the taste of your own cum?" Malfoy smirked.

The truth: no. It tasted so weird and salty. But it was bearable. "You actually took it all in your mouth!"

"Potter, you are _perfect_ at pointing out the obvious."

I moved down until his crotch was in front of me. "My turn," I said and smirked.

Before I can pull his pants off, he said, "No… Um, I sort of… came in my pants earlier."

I chuckled and he hissed "_Shut up!"_

"Hey! That's my line. Still, that doesn't mean that you can't come again. Want to put this under the test?" I put my hand on his privates through his pants and noticed how wet they were. I stroked lightly and played with his soft balls. Then, I took his pants off, and only now did I _properly_ see Malfoy's cock. I couldn't compare it now to mine since it was still soft, but I could tell that his was probably longer, but maybe not thicker. I slowly stroked it feeling him getting harder in my hands. Malfoy wasn't any better than me in the sounds that were coming out of his mouth. He too was closing his eyes tightly and producing high-pitched moans. I hated to think that I was looking like that a couple of minutes ago.

I stroked harder and harder until his dick became hard enough to take in my mouth. I didn't know what to do. I had absolutely no experience doing that, but I thought if Malfoy could do it, then so could I, since I knew that he didn't have any experience either. So I tried to remember how he'd done it and did the same and also added some moves of my own. I licked his cock from the base till the head then licked the head with the tip of my tongue. Then I took it in my mouth. I sucked slowly up to the head first then took the whole of it in my mouth. Judging by Malfoy's moans and the rate at which his cock swelled, I was doing it right. He started thrusting in my mouth, so I pinned his waist to the ground to stop him, like he did. I became the dominant one now and I had him under my mercy. Soon, his cock reached its full length and I could barely fit it in my mouth. I sucked and swallowed his precum and licked his shaft all at the same time, remembering how he had done the same. My hands were playing with his balls, cupping them tightly then rolling them between my fingers. Malfoy was moaning so loud and grasping my hair to push my head down getting his cock deeper in my throat, and I knew he was near. I panicked, because I didn't know if I will be able to swallow or not. I wanted to do it. I wanted him to see stars as he came in me, like how I felt when he was sucking me off. I guessed that it won't be a big deal and I can bear the taste for sure.

"Don't stop!" He said when I took him out of my mouth and stoked his wet cock hard.

"Malfoy!" I said. "Look at me while you come."

"Okay…" He nodded. "Please, _Harry_…"

Before I obliged, I took moments to admire Draco's wet cock that stood out of thin blonde hair with its pink head, begging to be sucked again. I had guessed right; Draco's dick was _long_, definitely longer than mine but not thicker.

I sucked hard and felt his thigh muscles contracting. He moaned loudly with his eyes on me and that was probably the hottest thing I'd ever seen: Draco naked and under my control, with his dick in my mouth. I myself was starting to get hard again at this sight. With a final "_Harry," _Malfoy came in my throat and I quickly swallowed it all. I had to swallow really fast before the next wave of cum comes. When his cock finally softened, I planted several kisses on it before shifting upward. I traced the thin line of hair from his crotch till his navel with my tongue then planted kisses here and there until I reached his chest. I sucked on a nipple, making it go erect instantly, and pinched the other with my hand. Then, I kissed and nipped his neck, leaving marks of ownership on his beautiful pale skin, and finally caught his lips in mine. I didn't notice until now how much I loved the way Malfoy clutches my hair when we kiss. I guess I know now why he always wants me to stroke his hair.

"You're beautiful!" I said, once our lips parted to avoid suffocation. "I mean, _really _beautiful! You're flawless! My boyfriend is the most handsome man on Earth! I must brag about you in front of everyone and go telling them '_Yes, he's my boyfriend, not yours, bitches!'_"

"Oh, stop it! You're making me blush."

I chuckled before giving him a brief kiss.

"We can't stay here forever." He said.

"Am I crushing you?"

He chuckled. "No, you're surprisingly light."

"Then why should we move? I want to have you in my arms the whole night."

"Because you're crushing me."

"Really?" I asked moving away from him.

"Oh, you look so adorable!" He said before answering, "No. But see, it worked."

I searched for my wand and my glasses in the grass then casted cleaning charms on Malfoy's wet pants so he can wear them again. It was slightly awkward when we dressed, so I turned my back to Malfoy and I could see him by the corner of my eyes checking out my ass as I dressed.

"You look like a tomato," he noted once we were fully clothed.

"_Shut up…_"

He chuckled. We went back to the castle holding hands.

"Will you tell your friends about us?"

"What do you think? Do you want me to? I mean, Hermione already knows and even if she didn't, she'll know instantly, and Ron have his doubts. But should we tell everyone else?"

"Well, I don't mind. But, you're _The Chosen Boy Who Saved the World_ or whatever they call you these days, so it will be on the papers once it is out."

"Will your mother be OK with it?"

"No. But she won't do anything. She'll give me some words, nothing more."

"I should have known that she won't approve on me. She had already warned you from spending much time with me, didn't she?"

"No, no, no. It's not because it's you. It's because you're a boy. Mom knows I am gay, but she believes that I am just confused and uncertain about my sexuality." Malfoy snorted.

"So, are you ready for all of this?"

"I have nothing to lose, Harry. You should ask yourself. You're the one who'll get the hate howlers and letters."

"As my godfather used to say, '_what's life without a little risk?'_ Besides, I don't give a fuck what people think. I never did. Stories were written about me every day on the news, and half of them were lies, and most of the times you were the reason behind those lies." I smiled. "The old version of you at least."

"But you have to admit, I am hilarious."

"You never realized what dangers your lies had led me to. But anyway, forget about the past. We shall not go there. Otherwise, our relationship won't last a week."

Malfoy laughed. "For sure…"

* * *

Ron walked on me and Hermione as she was extracting everything out of me. Not _everything _of course, but the main point: Draco Malfoy is my boyfriend.

"_Finally!" _she said. "Seriously, this should have happened from about three years ago!"  
"What are you talking about?" Ron demanded.

"Harry and Draco are now boyfriends."

Ron looked like Christmas has been cancelled, but slowly tried not to show it. "Er, congratulations, mate! _I guess…_"

"Thanks, Ron." I said.

"When are we going to meet up with your boyfriend?" asked Hermione.

"_What?" _Ron squealed.

"Hermione," I said. "It's Draco! You met him a thousand times before!"  
"Yes, but not like that. We're your friends and he's your boyfriend now, so we should be in good matters with him."

"_What?_" Ron repeated.

"Don't worry, Ron," I said. "It won't happen. Hermione, let's stay as we are and avoid trouble. I don't want him to make me choose between him and my friends because obviously I'll choose you and he'll be heartbroken. And I'll be too…"

"If you think so…" said Hermione.

Ron looked so relieved and I think he gave me a thankful look.

"I am so tired. I am going to bed." I said.

"Won't you spend the night with Draco?" asked Hermione.

"Why?"

"Well, you did it before anyway. And now that you finally realized that you love each other_"

"WHAT? What _love? Love who? _No one said anything about 'love'!"

"Fine!" she said. "Whatever you call it. Now that you are boyfriends, won't you sleep with him?"

"_What?" _said Ron for the third time.

Hermione looked like she's fighting a laugh. "Oh, Harry, if you saw how your face looks like now… Well, I meant the literal meaning."

"Thank you, Hermione," I said, "I know what you meant alright, exactly like I know that you meant to say it in this way."

Hermione giggled. "You caught me!"

"I am going to bed!" I repeated and went to my dormitory.

I curled under the covers and hugged my pillow, thinking about Malfoy and what Hermione said. My thoughts were interrupted when Ron came into the dormitory and opened the curtains around my bed.

"You did it again!" I said, meaning his invasion of my privacy.

"And _you _did it again!" He said sounding a bit angry.

"Did what?"

"You went to Hermione before you came to me. Why do you tell her everything, and you don't tell me _anything? _I told you before that I am okay with you being gay! And I am also okay with having Malfoy as your boyfriend. So why do you assume that I shouldn't know anything about you?"

"What do you want, Ron?"

"I want you to make me feel like I am still your best friend. I feel like you are ashamed of talking about things like that with me, when we have already talked about things like that loads of times in the past."

"Okay, Ron. I promise you, next time anything new happens between me and Malfoy, you'll be the first to know."

"Please don't make me feel like I am invading your privacy. I just want the normal thing, as we usually did. You know… like how I told you about Hermione and Lavender… without any specific private descriptions."

I smiled. "Okay. No problem."

"Thanks. And good night."

"Good night…"

He closed the curtain, and I went to sleep cuddling my pillow, imagining Draco in its place.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: After the holidays

Christmas was getting closer and that meant one thing to me: I won't be seeing Draco for _two weeks!_ I would have stayed at Hogwarts during the holidays and made some excuse to the Weasleys for not spending it at the Burrows as I usually do, but there was no point doing that because Draco isn't staying either. He wants to spend the holidays with his mother.

During these past months, I've spent almost all of my time with him, and now I'll not be seeing him for two bloody weeks! I just hope these two weeks pass as fast as they could. I am gonna miss him so much…

The last time I saw him before we parted was on Platform 9¾. "Potter," he yelled at me and I saw him running towards me. He grabbed my hand and escorted me away from the crowd to a more private place. "Thought I'd let you go without saying goodbye?" he asked.

"We said goodbye already."

"That didn't count," he said, pulling me from my tie into his warm embrace. "You certainly forgot something."

I put my hand on his neck and gave him a brief kiss, but apparently Malfoy thought otherwise. He pushed me against a wall, which became his signature move, and deepened the kiss. "Malfoy…" I tried to say before he catches my lips in his again. "We're in public."

"I don't care…" he whispered and resumed doing amazing things with his talented tongue. I melted in his embrace and gave in. I ran my fingers in his soft hair feeling overwhelmed with the bliss of the moment. When our lips parted, I stayed dozed for moments, still clutching Malfoy's body for support.

"I am pretty sure someone took a picture of that," I said.

"Good," he said, grinning wildly, "I'll be on the news! And you'll look pretty bad in this photo with me having you pinned to a wall and dominating you."

I chuckled. "I am going to miss you," I said. "Very much."

"I'll miss you too. Don't worry, we'll be in touch. I'll owl you every day."

"There will be no need for that if you take this," I took out from my pocket a fake Galleon that the DA members used for the DA meetings. "I think you know what this is. I used to communicate with my friends with this fake Galleon. Whenever you need to talk to me, just tap your wand on the coin and it will send whatever you say on your mind. When I send you a message, the coin will go hot, so keep it in your pocket all the time so you can feel it." He took the coin and put it in his pocket.

"The coin will send you what I want to say in my mind?"

"Pretty much, yeah," I said.

"Then it will certainly send: 'I want to fuck Harry Potter hard' a million times."

My face heated. Draco never approached the idea of actual _fucking _before.

"Will I see you during the holidays?" I asked. "I want to spend Christmas Eve with you at least."

"You know I can't come."

"Ron said it was okay if you want to come!" It was true. I asked Ron and he said his parents agreed with it.

"But the point is that I _don't _want to."

"You don't want to see me?"

"No, I don't want to be the unwelcomed person who ruins the family times. And you know that the Weasleys aren't my favorite. But still, _you _can come, if you want…"

"I should say no since you refused my offer, but I couldn't, can I?"

He smirked. "I know you can't resist my charm."

I heard someone coughing near us. "We should go now, Harry," said Ron.

"Goodbye, Harry," Draco said before giving me a quick kiss and a tight hug. He then walked away without saying a word to Ron as if he was invisible. Ron looked at me with a grin and a raised eyebrow, and I instantly blushed. "_Shut up!" _I said.

"I didn't say anything," he chuckled.

* * *

Those two weeks were torture. To me, it felt like two years. I don't know how worse it could have been if Draco and I hadn't been chatting all the holiday using the DA coin. But talking with him isn't like being with him. It wasn't enough for me. I seriously missed the bastard. I missed his embrace, his kisses, his voice, his touch, and his scent… everything about him. The only good thing that happened during those two weeks is that I realized how important my boyfriend became to me, how much I need him, and how much I hate being away from him.

Although Draco had said before the holidays that I can come and spend some time with him at the manor, he took back his word later because Narcissa forbade him from letting me come. _That bitch!_ _I don't know why she hates me so much!_ And so, I've spent Christmas lonely as always. Draco apologized for that a million times, and I told him that I do not blame him and it is okay, but he just won't listen.

Today, we'll be returning back to Hogwarts, and for the first time in my life, I wasn't looking forward to anything – not the magic, not school, not even Quidditch – but one thing: seeing Draco. And I met him in the train. I ran to him once I saw him and crushed him into my arms. I ignored the muttered words and the disgusted looks from the students passing by in the corridor.

"I've missed you so, so, so much!" I said.

He giggled. "I missed you more." He pushed me away but only to take my lips in his.

"OI! Get a room you two!" Said one Slytherin young boy and I decided to put him on my enemies' list for interrupting us.

Draco pulled me to an empty compartment locking the door behind us and closing the blinds too. He pushed me to lie on the seat and he rested atop me. Without waiting for a second to waste, I took his sweet lips in mine and devoured them. My hand clutched his hair roughly while the other hand was under Draco's shirt caressing the skin of his back. I could feel myself getting turned on, and when Draco rubbed our crotches together, I found a similar situation. My hands traveled downwards to cup his perfect round arse that I've fantasized about so many times. He started unbuttoning my shirt and running his hands on my bare chest. I felt so desperate, as if all the sexual feelings that were trapped inside me during the past days have suddenly flooded and they were acting out of my control. I didn't know exactly what we were doing and I didn't care; I just knew that it felt brilliant. I quickly unfastened Draco's belt and pulled his pants down enough to free his full-blown erected cock. I felt him doing the same to me sighing once my cock was out of its tight prison and into Draco's hand. He stroked it hard and kissed my nipples at the same time. I wasn't that good at multitasking; all I managed to do is stroke his cock and moan. I matched my strokes with his and tightened my hand harder when he did the same, resulting in a high pitched moan escaping from my mouth. I was scratching Draco's back with the free hand, knowing that I won't last long. With a scream that was trapped on my chest, Malfoy came explosively in my hand and that was all I needed to follow him, except that my moans weren't trapped by anything. He collapsed on me, panting hard but not staying idle as he planted several kisses everywhere on my torso. Then he moved upward until we were face to face. I kept staring at his cute face that hovered above mine, looking at his red-swollen parted lips and wanting nothing but to fill the gap between them. I touched his red cheeks softly before pulling his head down for a passionate kiss. Draco opened his mouth to grant me permission to wander my tongue inside his sweet mouth, and with every stroke of tongue on tongue, my heart simply skips a beat.

I felt myself getting hard again although it had only been few minutes since we both came. Draco's hands were roaming down my body until they reached my arse and squeezed tightly. He pulled my legs upward and I rested them on his shoulders. I stiffened, not quite believing what Draco's fingers were doing right now. He was rubbing my arsehole with a finger and tracing the muscles ring of my anus. "Malfoy…" I said, and it came out as a plea. I wasn't sure what I wanted it to sound like. I didn't know what I was thinking. All what my brain was doing is shout _that feels great! And oh, God! _Draco has inserted a finger inside me. I tensed. I saw where this was going and I panicked, not having any objections, but not feeling sure if I am ready for this. Draco pulled the finger out and inserted it again, deeper this time.

"_Malfoy…_"

"Tell me if it hurts and I will stop."

It didn't hurt, just stung. And I definitely didn't want him to stop. I felt him adding another finger and thought _No, that's too much!_

"Relax, Harry." He whispered. I obliged.

He continued pulling both fingers and pushing deeper until I was starting to really enjoy it, and he knew that, judging by the inappropriate sounds I made. I felt him pulling the fingers out of me, and suddenly I was filled with something bigger. Much, much bigger. I tried not to panic, because it will do no good. But how could I? _DRACO MALFOY IS FUCKING ME! _Yes, it didn't feel great and I knew that once he starts moving I'll feel pain, but for god's sack it was still a blast to think that _Draco is fucking me!_ I didn't know why I felt so happy about that, given that I am being _fucked_, but I just did. Until he moved… He must have known that it hurted me, because he stopped instantly and whispered in my ear, "I am sorry. I am so sorry."

He extended his apology by planting soft kisses on my neck.

"It's okay…" I said, not quite believing what I said.

"Did I hurt you? Well obviously I did," he said to himself. "I am so sorry, Harry."

"You can move. Honestly… I'll tell you if it hurts."

I prepared for another sear of pain, but when the blow came and Draco thrust deep inside me, it was more bearable. I gave him an encouraging look, and he slowly pulled back and thrust again. With every thrust, I can feel it getting easier, though I still can't find what is so charming about sex. For a moment, I questioned my sexuality, wondering if I didn't enjoy being fucked means anything, until Draco pushed again. I _might _have moaned like a girl, but I didn't care, because he repeated what he'd done.

"What the hell was that?" I asked.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked and before he can start apologizing, I raised my hip to meet his thrust and moaned again. He got the message. "Yes, yes, yes," I said. He slammed into the same spot and I felt a new kind of arousal. Draco started slamming hard and I didn't stop him. In fact, I was encouraging him more by raising my hips to meet every thrust. I bit a part of my shirt to trap my moans that were starting to get louder. I was feeling the most brilliant feeling in the world. I was filled with Draco and with every thrust it was like I was hit in my brain, which was screaming _Malfoy is fucking me into a train's seat! Malfoy is fucking me! I, Harry James Potter, am being fucked by Draco Malfoy! "Oh, Draco, more, baby… Faster! Yes, yes, yes…" _And I came, without him even touching my dick. He followed me instantly and I felt his hot liquids hitting my interiors as he came inside me. He collapsed on me smiling widely. "Harry! Harry, you called me 'Draco'!"

"What?"

"When you came, you said my name. My _first _name. You never called me 'Draco' before! Always 'Malfoy.'"

"Do I? I never noticed!"

"Yes. The only time you said 'Draco', you were naming the constellation not me… I want you to call me that forever. It feels so much better." I knew what he meant, because I felt like that too when he called me 'Harry' the first time. And I never noticed that first name thing. Otherwise I'd have called him 'Draco' long before now.

He hugged me, laying his head on my chest. I ruffled his hair like I used to do. "Draco." I said.

"Harry…"

"You actually_ I can't believe that! We had sex! You… _fucked me! _You freaking fucked me_ in a train compartment!_"

"Is it that difficult to process?"

"Blimey, Mal-_Draco_… That was brilliant! No way in hell is this your first!"

He blushed. "I just let my body do what he always wanted to do… since so many years ago."

"Years?"

He nodded. I pulled him for a kiss that would have been eternal if only oxygen wasn't a necessity for survival. He pulled his softening cock out of my arsehole nd I felt emptiness, like a part of me is missing. I casted cleaning charms on our bodies and the seats, then dressed not feeling embarrassed as I usually felt. Somehow, after we had sex, it was like all barriers between us were gone and our relationship became stronger. Thankfully, we were already dressed when someone came knocking at the doors. Ron entered when I was helping Draco with his tie. He looked suddenly embarrassed, but said, "Oh, you're here! Well… I just thought… never mind, I'll just leave you together."

"Ron," I said, "Come in." He looked at Draco as if seeking his permission but he got inside anyway without receiving any response from Draco.

"I just finished with my HB duties," said Ron, "so I thought I can come and sit with you… you know, like old times."

"Of course you can," I said, earning a glare from Draco which I ignored. "Where is Hermione?"

"Screaming at some kids for throwing a Dungbomb in the luggage carriage… What is that smell?"

Only now did I notice that the compartment smelled with sweat and… _sex_.

"You will understand when you're older, Weaselby!" Draco smirked.

"Draco!" I said warningly.

"_Sorry…_" Although he didn't sound like it.

"The _Daily Prophet_ has nothing to talk about these days except you two," said Ron randomly.

"Yeah," I said. "I've read the headlines: 'The Boy Who Lived to be a Queer,' 'The Gay One,' 'The Savior's Scandal'… And so on."

"Oh yes," said Draco. "Not to mention what they've been saying about how dangerous it is for the Savior to be dating an ex-Death Eater."

"Perhaps they are right," I said jokingly, "maybe you shouldn't have dated me! It's so… _dangerous._"

Draco chuckled and leaned for a kiss but stopped when Ron coughed. For a moment I'd forgot that he was still here. We were saved from the awkwardness of the moment when Hermione came.

"Hey, Harry, Ron, Draco…" She said and sat beside Ron. "Sorry, everywhere else is full. Otherwise we would have left you two alone," she told Draco and me.

"No, it's okay." I said and Draco whistled acting bored. "It won't be _Hogwart's Express_ if we weren't in the same compartment. How was your Christmas, Hermione?"

"Interesting. I went skiing in France again with my parents, except it went well, unlike last time."

"Sorry," interrupted Draco, "what's _skiing, _exactly?"

Hermione was shocked more than me that Draco was engaging with a conversation with her. "Um… It's this muggle game in which you wear sort of long sledges that can make you slide on the snow…"

"Sounds boring…" He huffed then lay down on the seat resting his head on my lap. I tried hard not to blush but failed when he said "Ruffle my hair, Harry…"

I caught Hermione winking at me from the corner of my eye. Ron was suddenly interested in his shoes. And we sat in uncomfortable silence until the Lady with the Trolley arrived. I bought some candy for all of us, and we sat eating and chatting like old times with Draco as the only and best difference.

* * *

The next week was a pain in the ass. Classes got harder and the teachers assigned us more homework, as if they were punishing us for having fun at the holidays. But I still managed to spend time with my boyfriend. We were heading for dinner after a long day, holding hands and ignoring the homophob**ic** students who were giving us disgusted looks and muttering insults behind our backs. And that was when I got stunned from behind my back. Draco managed to hold me before I hit the ground but he soon released me and went running after my stunner, although it was unlikely that they'd still be there. Surprisingly, Draco came after a moment catching a Gryffindor boy who looked like he's in his third year. The boy was protesting and begging Draco to leave him. Draco slammed him to the wall and took his wand out of his pocket.

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What are you doing?" I stood up and tried to walk to where he was.

He ignored me. "Why did you do it?" He shook the boy harshly from his collar then slapped him on the face.

"Draco, stop!" I grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the boy.

"He hexed you, Harry! What do you expect me to do?"

I looked at the boy. "I don't think he was the one who did it."

Draco grabbed him from the collar again and shouted, "DID YOU? Admit it, you did it!"

The boy looked so scared to answer. I knew he was the one who did it, but I told Draco, "It wasn't him. I am sure of it."

"How could you be?"

"Before I fell, I saw an older boy running away," I lied. "It wasn't this boy."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Well then…" Draco sighed. "Go!" The boy looked so relieved. He gave me an apologetic look and mouthed the words 'Thank you' and left.

I didn't know why I spared him from Draco's wrath, but there was no point in punishing the boy.

"Fucking homophobes," Draco muttered. "What does it have to do with them? Why are they so upset?"

"Maybe because they're jealous that I have the sexiest boyfriend of them all?" I suggested.

Draco blushed. I took him into my arms and gave him a quick kiss.

"You didn't see who exactly your attacker was?" he asked.

"That wasn't an attack. I was just stunned!"

"And what stunning is? I swear, if I know who they were, I'm gonna kill them."

"Calm down," I said smiling, "you're not my bodyguard."

"That doesn't mean that I shouldn't protect you. You're my boyfriend!"

"So _cute_!"

"Excuse me? Did you just describe me as _'cute'_?"

"Maybe I did," I said teasingly. "Come on, let's go. I'm starving!"

* * *

That night, I spent the night in Draco's dorm because he asked me to. I got some clothes, my Cloak of Invisibility, and the Marauders map with me.

"What are you wearing?" asked Draco once I stepped into the dormitory.

"My pajamas!"

"And where exactly did you get pajamas with the words 'Potter is the man' on the tops?"

"Er, it was a Christmas gift from Ginny. She bewitched it to_"

"The WEASLETTE?" Draco's face flushed with anger. "And why do you wear them?"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because it's from _her." _He said it like it's something disgusting.

I laughed. "Come on, Draco. Stop being jealous." Although I love it when he getsjealous. "If your gift was something that I could wear, I'd wear it all the time if you wanted."

"Now it's _my _fault that I've sent you a potions book so you can improve in the subject you suck at?"

"Oh, come on…" I jumped on his bed and leaned down on him. "You know what I mean. And of course, your gifts mean so much to me than any other gift I got from any other person, because it's from _you._" I kissed him passionately with my hand on his neck and my thumb caressing his flushed face. He didn't respond at the beginning, but soon melted under me and deepened the kiss. My hands moved downwards to unbutton his pajama tops. I groaned when our lips parted for mere seconds so Draco can take my T-shirt off. He threw it on the ground angrily.

"So tell me, _Potter. _Can this Weaslette do this to you?" He asked before quickly returning to kissing me then his hand slipped under my trousers and pants and grasped my cock. He rubbed it tightly in his hand as our mouths battled and got fiercer by the minute, battling for dominance with our tongues. Malfoy's other hand was now pushing away my trousers and I did the same.

When we broke apart for air, I muttered teasingly, "Probably… Now let's see who is better in bed." I quickly kissed him before he shouts back at me then slowly started moving down his body, kissing and nipping on his throat then his nipples. Finally, I reached to his cock that was so hard its tip was visible from above the waistband. I rubbed my hands on it lightly before pulling the waistband with two fingers and grabbing his so-hard dick. I licked a drop of precum from the tip and Draco moaned. I slowly planted kisses here and there and licked the shaft and teased the head, until finally I took it all in my mouth. Draco shuddered as I sucked hard hollowing my cheeks and flipping my tongue on his length. One hand was cupping his balls playfully while the other was pinning his hips on the bed to stop them from thrusting with every suck. I felt his thigh muscles contracting and heard Draco's moans becoming higher pitched. "No, don't come," I said, tightening my fingers on the base of his cock. "Not now."

He groaned, but pulled me up to kiss my lips, or should _devour _be the right word?

He whispered two words in my ear that made me shudder. "_Fuck me…"_

I didn't believe that Draco would request that. When I fantasized about it, it was always me who offered it. "Are you sure?" I asked.

"Don't make me change my mind, Potter!" I giggled and kissed him quickly. I felt anticipation growing inside me. I was waiting for this moment for so long!

I moved down and spread his legs apart. I had a great view of Draco's open arse and I could have stayed staring at it all night if I didn't have a better job to do. I was afraid that my strong desire would make me forget to be careful about not hurting Draco. I decided to take everything slowly. For a moment, I didn't know what to do first, but an idea immediately formed into my head. I took Draco's arse cheeks in my hand and leaned my head down.

"_God!" _he said surprised. "What are you doing?"

"Don't you like that?" I asked.

"I like it, but that's… gross!"

"I don't think it is. And as long as you like it, I do too." I kissed his hole again and traced the ring of muscles with the tip of my tongue. I kissed it again then sucked, and Draco produced a very inappropriate sound. I pushed my tongue deep inside and twisted it. I pulled my tongue back and sucked then kissed and pushed inside again. Judging by Draco's moans, he liked it… A lot. When I inserted the first finger inside, it entered easily. I pushed further until my second knuckle disappeared inside then pulled back and inserted two fingers, then a third until Draco was actually _begging _for it. And _oh lord, _how it felt when I inserted my cock inside. Draco looked tense but not hurt, so I pushed further inside until I was fully sheathed. The feeling of Draco's warmth surrounding my penis was glorious! I stayed in my place for more seconds knowing that if I moved, I'll come instantly and I won't come before making Draco enjoy this.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. Doesn't hurt much…" he said.

I pulled back then thrust back home. I was searching for the magic spot that would turn Draco into a moaning whore. It took me about five tries until I found it. "_Harry…" _he moaned.

"Was that it?"

"Shut up and repeat what you did."

I giggled. "I am at my lord's service."

I did it again and Draco moaned louder. I saw his dick instantly getting hard and he moved his hand down to stroke it because my hands were busy cupping his arse cheeks and squeezing tightly. I slammed hard into him again and my thrusts started to accelerate. Draco was screaming and begging for more. I was moaning too, saying some intelligible words like "_Oh yeah, fuck you, Draco. So tight! FUCK!"_

When I felt Draco's muscles contracting, I quickly grasped his cock and stroked it hard bringing him off. His arse hole tightened as he came, shouting my name in the process. I tried not to come to extend the pleasure so I took a different position by leaning down facing him and letting my hips do their job. I thrust harder and harder while kissing Draco who was moaning in my mouth. He rested his legs on my back and raised his hands to hold the headboard that was about to break from the bed. I rested my head on his chest, panting and feeling so close. When I couldn't hold my load anymore, I accelerated and deepened my fucks, causing Draco to stop breathing for a moment before moaning my name in a very erotic way. I came, spilling my seed deep inside him and grabbed his hair to pull his head down and kiss him roughly, and he responded with great enthusiasm.

"Oh, Harry James Potter, if I had known that it'd be this amazing, I'd have told you to fuck me since we first met."

I laughed. "We were so innocent then for something like that."

"As if that is the only problem…"

"So you liked it, then?" I asked.

"Mmm… It was okay," he teased.

"I know you liked it."

"Harry, I want to tell you something, but if you didn't like it, forget it and never think about it again, OK?"

I nodded. "Yeah, what is it?"

"You should be nervous, you know? This might not be pleasant."

"Ok, I am tense now. What is it?"

"I am serious!"

"I thought you were Draco!"

"Harry!" He glared at me.

"Sorry… Go on. Tell me what you want to say."

"Harry… um_"

"Are you going to say it before the sun rises?"

"Shut up! You're ruining the mood."

I chuckled. "Just spit it out, and beware, if I don't like what you're going to say, your punishment will be… _severe_!"

"Harry, I love you! There I've said it! Please don't hex me…"

I stayed still for a moment. Or ten. I just couldn't believe what he said. "Come again?"

"Never mind…" He looked disappointed.

"Are you serious?" I asked.

"Forget it. _I just made a fool of myself…" _he muttered.

I had enough proof that I wasn't imagining what he said. He said he loves me... OH. MY. GOD! HE ACTUALLY SAID IT! I thought that it'd take him years to notice it. I've been thinking about it every night, cursing my luck for falling in love with a boy who sees me as his boyfriend but not his lover. I laughed. I just can't help it… It was just a bizarre feeling. The words still echoed in my ears '_Harry, I love you'_! _This is the best day of my life!_

"Something amusing?" Draco looked embarrassed. When he only got more laughter as the only response, he turned his head away and said: "I said forget it, OK?"

"Oh, Draco Malfoy, you stupid boy." I pulled his face back so he can look at me. I looked into his beautiful grey eyes feeling the world dissolving around us, like we two are the only ones in the universe. "You stupid, _stupid _boy. I love you too!" I took his already swollen lips into mine for a bruising kiss.

He pulled away. "Really?" He asked looking amazed.

"Yes! I love you so much, Draco. I've loved you since the day I first kissed you, but you just wanted to get laid. "

"Hey!" he punched my shoulder playfully then hugged me tightly.

I hugged him back. Our naked bodies were smeared with sweat and cum, but I didn't care. I hugged him as if my life depended on it. Draco grabbed my hair to pull my head up and kissed me with passion, and we stayed as we are for minutes, expressing our love through sweet kisses. After a while, Draco wandlessly summoned his wand. His wandless magic is one of the million things about Draco that turn me on. He looked at me with a smile then held his wand and said quietly, "_Expecto Patronum," _without taking his eyes off mine.

A very bright silver light burst out of the tip of his wand and a figure of an animal zoomed across the room. My jaw dropped, not only because Draco finally mastered the Patronus Charm but also because I couldn't believe the shape of his patronus. I looked at him then at the patronus then at him before taking his lips in mine. I hoped there were Dementors nearby because together we'd have produced the best Patronus Charms and sent them to hell.

His patronus is a stag.

**THE END**

* * *

**AN: **Thanks to everyone who followed/ reviewed this story. I hope you liked it :')

A special thanks to my lovely friend and beta, Sanaa. I really wouldn't have been able to write this story without your help.


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